Subject: Government (Page 13)

We still… cannot catch Osama bin Laden, but we nailed Martha Stewart's ass to the wall.

(1964 – ) American comedian & actor
Failure Government Law People

Public office is the last refuge of the incompetent.

(1860 – 1921) U.S. senator (Pennsylvania)
Government Intelligence People

Judge: Are you trying to show contempt for this court, Mr Smith?

Smith: No, My Lord. I am attempting to conceal it.

(1872 – 1930) British statesman, politician & lawyer
Government Insults

This foreign policy stuff is a little frustrating.

(1946 – ) 43rd U.S. president
Government

The only difference between Bush and Hitler is that Hitler was elected.

(1922 – 2007) American novelist
Elections/Voting Government

For certain people, after fifty, litigation takes the place of sex.

(1925 – 2012) author, playwright, essayist & screenwriter
Age Law Old Sex

I’m the mayor, I can do whatever I want until the courts tell me I can’t.

(1964 – ) U.S. governor (Alaska) commentator & author
Government Law

I will make a bargain with the Republicans; if they will stop telling lies about Democrats, we will stop telling the truth about them

(1900 – 1965) diplomat & Democratic politician
Characteristics Honesty Lies Politicians Politics Truth

Prohibition makes you want to cry into your beer and denies you the beer to cry into.

(1878 – 1937) humorist, journalist & author
Alcohol Beer Food/Drink Government

A dollar saved is a quarter earned.

(1906 – 1972) pianist, composer, author, comedian & actor
Government Money

The best way to get a bad law repealed is to enforce it strictly.

(1809 – 1865) 16th U.S. president
Government Law

Revolution: An abrupt change in the form of misgovernment.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Conflict Definitions Government

Taxpayer: One who doesn’t have to pass a civil service exam to work for the government.

Definitions Government Taxes Work

Why should we tell kidnappers, murderers, and embezzlers their rights? … if they don’t know their rights, they shouldn’t be in the business.

(1927 – 1997) Am. comedian & satirist notable for mock presidential campaign
Government Law

Absolute power corrupts absolutely.

(1834 – 1902) English Catholic historian, politician, & writer
Characteristics Government

Hey folks, I’ll admit it — I didn’t vote; I didn’t like any of those bastards enough to risk jury duty.

comedian
Elections/Voting Government Law

What this country needs is more unemployed politicians.

(1928 – 1995) American artist
Government Politicians

Litigant: A person about to give up his skin for the hope of retaining his bones.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Definitions Government Law

During an election campaign the air is full of speeches and vice versa.

(1838 – 1918) journalist, historian, academic & novelist
Communication Elections/Voting Government Speech

The Canadian military is like Switzerland's… without the knife.

Canadian comedian & author
Canada Government

Those that respect the law and love sausage should watch neither being made.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Congress Food/Drink Government Law