Subject: Government (Page 13)

I was asked to name all the presidents… I thought they already had names.

(1973 – ) American comedian
Government President

Political satire became obsolete when Henry Kissinger was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize.

(1928 – ) humorist, singer, songwriter & satirist
Communication Government Politics

Democracy gives every man the right to be his own oppressor.

(1819 – 1891) editor
Democracy Government

These guys from the nation's capital… now they do a lot of thinking.

(1949 – ) American boxing champion
Government Intelligence Thinking

With a black president, I can relax…I can dance in public… I can buy a whole watermelon now.

(1964 – ) American writer, stand-up comedian, actress, television host
Characteristics Government President Situations

What is good politics is bad economics; what is bad politics is good economics; what is good economics is bad politics; what is bad economics is good politics.

Government Murphy’s Laws Politics

Have you ever noticed that the lawyer always smiles more than the client?

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author
Government Law Lawyers

Hey folks, I’ll admit it — I didn’t vote; I didn’t like any of those bastards enough to risk jury duty.

comedian
Elections/Voting Government Law

This is not the first time that Europe has been passive while a Jew-hating tyrant with a weird looking mustache killed the people by giving them gas… obviously I'm talking about Chef Boyardee.

(1970 – ) American comedian, writer & actress
Government People

Hilary Clinton has shown that any woman can be president, as long as your husband did it first.

American comedian
Government People President

The greatest thing the Democrats have ever done for me was to defeat me for the governor of Tennessee.

(1903 – 1992) country music singer, fiddler & promoter
Failure Government Politics

The more corrupt the republic, the more numerous the laws.


Government Law

Lawyers, I suppose, were children once.

(1775 – 1834) English critic & essayist
Age Children Government Law Lawyers Young

The most undesirable things are the most certain (death and taxes).

Death Murphy’s Laws Problems Taxes

If the people of a democracy are allowed to do so, they will vote away the freedoms which are essential to that democracy.

Democracy Elections/Voting Government Murphy’s Laws

Perhaps we could have a translation, I could not quite follow.

(1894 – 1986) British prime minister
Government

How come we choose from just two people for president, and fifty for Miss America?

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
Government

Incoming fire has the right-of-way.

Military Murphy’s Laws

Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows, marriage does.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Government Marriage Politics

Congress is so strange; a man gets up to speak and says nothing – nobody listens—and then everybody disagrees.

(1898 – 1967) Russian writer
Communication Congress Government Speech

If you are forward of your position, the artillery will fall short.

Military Murphy’s Laws