Subject: Government » Elections/Voting

We have a presidential election coming up, and I think the big problem, of course, is that someone will win.

(1953 – 2018) American comedian, political satirist & author
Elections/Voting Government

We don’t just have egg on our face; we have omelette all over our suits.

(1940 – ) American television journalist & author
Elections/Voting Government

The difference between a democracy and a dictatorship is that in a democracy you vote first and take orders later; in a dictatorship you don’t have to waste your time voting.

(1920 – 1994) German-born author & poet
Democracy Elections/Voting Government

The more qualified candidates who are available, the more likely the compromise will be on the candidate whose main qualification is a non-threatening incompetence.

Elections/Voting Government Murphy’s Laws

It’s not the people who vote that count, it’s the people who count the votes.

(1878 – 1953) Soviet politician, leader of the Soviet Union
Elections/Voting Government People

If God had wanted us to vote, he would have given us candidates.

(1950 – ) comedian & television host
Beliefs Elections/Voting God Government

The presidential race continued to tighten up – in fact, according to some polls, John McCain is only 6 points behind Sarah Palin.

(1971 – ) American actress, comedian, producer & writer
Elections/Voting TV/Movie Quotes

The only way I can lose this election is if I’m caught in bed with a dead girl or a live boy.

(1927 – ) Louisiana politician & governor
Elections/Voting Government

You win some, you lose some, and then there’s that little-known third category.

(1948 – ) U.S. vice president & politician, author & environmentalist
Elections/Voting Government Situations

Get re-elected.

Elections/Voting Government Murphy’s Laws

During an election campaign the air is full of speeches and vice versa.

(1838 – 1918) journalist, historian, academic & novelist
Communication Elections/Voting Government Speech

Asking an incumbent member of Congress to vote for term limits is a bit like asking a chicken to vote for Colonel Sanders.

(1959 – ) U.S. Representative (South Carolina)
Elections/Voting Government Politicians

I never vote for anyone; I always vote against.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Elections/Voting Government

1. Get elected
2. Get re-elected
3. Don’t get mad, get even.

Anger Elections/Voting Emotions Government Murphy’s Laws Politicians

In most places in the country, voting is looked upon as a right and a duty, but in Chicago it’s a sport.

(1932 – 2017) comedian, social activist, critic & writer
Activities Elections/Voting Government Places Sports

Elections are when people find out what politicians stand for, and politicians find out what people will fall for.

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
Elections/Voting Government People Politicians

Short-term success with voters on any side of a given issue can be guaranteed by creating a long-term special study commission made up of at least three divergent interest groups.

Elections/Voting Government Murphy’s Laws Politicians

Half of the American people have never read a newspaper; and half never voted for president… one hopes it is the same half.

(1925 – 2012) author, playwright, essayist & screenwriter
Communication Elections/Voting Government Intelligence Reading/Writing

Recount: In American politics, another throw of the dice, accorded to the player against whom they are loaded.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Definitions Elections/Voting Government

Running for senator in New York is like bobbing for piranhas.

(1951 – 2014) comedian & actor
Elections/Voting Government New York City Places

A triumph for democracy; it proves that a millionaire has just as good a chance as anybody else.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Elections/Voting Government Money