Subject: Government » Elections/Voting (Page 3)

You win some, you lose some, and then there’s that little-known third category.

(1948 – ) U.S. vice president & politician, author & environmentalist
Elections/Voting Government Situations

The only way I can lose this election is if I’m caught in bed with a dead girl or a live boy.

(1927 – ) Louisiana politician & governor
Elections/Voting Government

Harry had won by such a narrow margin he might not have made it if Bess hadn't voted for her husband.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Elections/Voting Government

Asking an incumbent member of Congress to vote for term limits is a bit like asking a chicken to vote for Colonel Sanders.

(1959 – ) U.S. Representative (South Carolina)
Elections/Voting Government Politicians

During an election campaign the air is full of speeches and vice versa.

(1838 – 1918) journalist, historian, academic & novelist
Communication Elections/Voting Government Speech

In most places in the country, voting is looked upon as a right and a duty, but in Chicago it’s a sport.

(1932 – 2017) comedian, social activist, critic & writer
Activities Elections/Voting Government Places Sports

A low voter turnout is an indication of fewer people going to the polls.

(1947 – ) U.S. vice president & politician
Communication Elections/Voting Government Misspokements Speech

Folks who don't know why America is the Land of Promise should be here during an election campaign.

(1908 – 2002) comedian, radio & television actor
America Elections/Voting Government Places

Politicians are always trying to convince you that they can solve the unemployment problem if you'll just give them a job.

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
Elections/Voting Government Politicians Work

A straw vote only shows which way the hot air blows.

William Sydney Porter (1862 – 1910) American writer
Communication Elections/Voting

We have a presidential election coming up, and I think the big problem, of course, is that someone will win.

(1953 – 2018) American comedian, political satirist & author
Elections/Voting Government

Candidate: A person who asks for money from the wealthy and votes from the poor to protect them from each other.

Definitions Elections/Voting Government

No politician talks taxes during an election year.

Elections/Voting Government Murphy’s Laws Politicians Taxes

Election: When the air is full of speeches and vice versa

Communication Definitions Elections/Voting Government Speech

A fool and his money are soon elected.

Elections/Voting Fools Intelligence Murphy’s Laws

Elector: One who enjoys the sacred privilege of voting for the man of another man’s choice.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Elections/Voting Government Language

Unopposed candidate: An officeholder who has mastered the art of campaign reform.

Definitions Elections/Voting Government

Do you ever get the feeling that the only reason we have elections is to find out if the polls were right?

(1927 – ) magician & comedy writer
Elections/Voting Government

Oscar [of the Academy Awards] is 80 this year, which makes him now automatically the frontrunner for the Republican nomination.

(1962 – ) American political satirist, writer, television host & comedian
Elections/Voting Government

1. Get elected
2. Get re-elected
3. Don’t get mad, get even.

Anger Elections/Voting Emotions Government Murphy’s Laws Politicians

Democracy: A system whereby the person who never votes can cuss out the man the other people elected.

Definitions Democracy Elections/Voting Government