Subject: Government (Page 31)

He slept more than any other president… Nero fiddled, but Coolidge only snored.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
Government Situations Sleep

Suppose you were an idiot, and suppose you were a member of Congress but I repeat myself.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Congress Fools Government Insults Intelligence

I must choose my words carefully in order to avoid any negative interpretation; among politicians, this is a tactic known as lying.

(1927 – 1997) Am. comedian & satirist notable for mock presidential campaign
Characteristics Government Honesty Lies Politicians

The spirit of public service will rise, and the bureaucracy will multiply itself much faster, in time of grave national concern.

Government Murphy’s Laws

What does an actor know about politics?

(1911 – 2004) 40th U.S. president & actor
Government Politics

Although it is not true that all conservatives are stupid people, it is true that most stupid people are conservative.

(1806-1873) British philosopher
Beliefs Government Intelligence Opinion Stupidity

In levying taxes and in shearing sheep it is well to stop when you get down to the skin.

(1858 – 1932) American physicist, physician & humorist
Government Taxes

Running for senator in New York is like bobbing for piranhas.

(1951 – 2014) comedian & actor
Elections/Voting Government New York City Places

Tracers work BOTH ways.

Arms Military Murphy’s Laws

You win some, you lose some, and then there's that little known third category.

(1948 – ) U.S. vice president & politician, author & environmentalist
Elections/Voting Government Law Politics

The pay raise is just large enough to increase your taxes and just small enough to have no effect on your take-home pay.

Government Money Murphy’s Laws Taxes

Insanity in individuals is something rare – but in groups, parties, nations and epochs, it is the rule.

(1844 – 1900) German philosopher
Government Health People

Bureaucrat: A person who cuts red tape sideways. 

Government People

The single most exciting thing you encounter in government is competence, because it's so rare.

(1927 – 2003) American politician
Government Intelligence

How come there's only one Monopolies Commission?

(1944 – ) English writer & broadcaster
Government

The nearest approach to immortality on earth is a government bureau.

(1879 – 1972) U.S. governor (South Carolina)
Government Life

The CIA is made up of boys whose families sent them to Princeton but wouldn't let them into the family brokerage business.

(1908 – 1973) 36th U.S. president
Government Money

The quartermaster has only two sizes, too large and too small.

Clothing Military Murphy’s Laws

When the president, during the campaign, said he was against nation building, I didn't realize he meant our nation.

(1951 – ) U.S. senator (Minnesota), political commentator, comedian & writer
Government President

If you want to succeed in politics, you must keep your conscience well under control.

(1863 – 1945) British politician & statesman
Government Politics

No politician talks taxes during an election year.

Elections/Voting Government Murphy’s Laws Politicians Taxes