Subject: Government » President

It's not that I disagree with Bush's economic policy or his foreign policy, it's that I believe he was a child of Satan sent here to destroy the planet Earth.

(1961 – 1994) comedian

With a black president, I can relax…I can dance in public… I can buy a whole watermelon now.

(1964 – ) American writer, stand-up comedian, actress, television host

The President of today is just the postage stamp of tomorrow.

(1895 – 1964) comedian (wife & partner of George Burns)

Democracy means that anyone can grow up to be president, and anyone who doesn't grow up can be vice president.

(1925 – 2005) television host

Republicans elect stupid leaders with brilliant staffs and Democrats produce brilliant presidents with stupid staffs.

(1950 – ) comedian & television host

When the President does it, that means that it is not illegal.

(1913 – 1994) 37th U.S. president

The best reason I can think of for not running for President of the United States is that you have to shave twice a day.

(1900 – 1965) diplomat & Democratic politician

One lesson you better learn if you want to be in politics is that you never go out on a golf course and beat the President.

(1908 – 1973) 36th U.S. president

I've been in the Bible every day since I've been the president.

(1946 – ) 43rd U.S. president

This President is going to lead us out of this recovery.

(1947 – ) U.S. vice president & politician

Presidents don’t do it to their wives; they do it to their country.

(1926 – ) film director, screenwriter, composer, comedian, actor & producer

Mothers all want their sons to grow up to be president, but they don’t want them to become politicians in the process.

(1917 – 1963) 35th U.S. president

I think this is the most extraordinary collection of talent, of human knowledge, that has ever been gathered together at the White House – with the possible exception of when Thomas Jefferson dined alone.

(1917 – 1963) 35th U.S. president

I'll be long gone before some smart person ever figures out what happened inside this Oval Office.

(1946 – ) 43rd U.S. president

Dan Quayle deserves to be Vice President like Elvis deserved his black belt in karate.

(1953 – ) comedian, political commentator and television & radio personality

Anybody that wants the presidency so much that he’ll spend two years organizing and campaigning for it is not to be trusted with the office.

(1929 – ) journalist, author & television pundit

I think anybody who doesn't think I'm smart enough to handle the job is underestimating.

(1946 – ) 43rd U.S. president

Clinton is a man who thinks international affairs means dating a girl from out of town.

(1947 – ) American author

Do you realize we’re only a heart attack away from Bush being president?

(1951 – 2014) comedian & actor

When I was a boy I was told that anybody could become president… now I'm beginning to believe it.

(1857 – 1938) American lawyer

I was asked to name all the presidents… I thought they already had names.

(1973 – ) American comedian