Subject: Hollywood Squares (Page 20)

Peter Marshall: If you find someone lying unconscious in the street, should you do anything?

George Goebel: I’d probably crawl around him I guess.

(1919 – 1991) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

John Davidson: What was Thomas Jefferson referring to when he said “You don’t need two when one will do.?”

Nancy Walker: Paper towels!

(1922 – 1992) American actress & comedian
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Johnny Carson’s ex-wife Joanne will get $100,000 a year, so long as she doesn’t do one thing. What IS the one thing?

Totie Fields: Cash the alimony check.

(1930 – 1978) American comedian
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: True or false – when the swallows return to Capistrano, they are probably coming from Argentina.

Charley Weaver: That’s true, and not only did they ruin my car, they blew up my trailer!

Cliff Arquette (1905 – 1974) American actor & comedian
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Experts say you should avoid sex immediately after… what?

Paul Lynde: Surgery.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Now listen carefully, Paul… during the time of the hula hoop, the yo-yo, and Davy Crockett hats, who was in the White House?

Paul Lynde: I’ll say the yo-yo!

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: According to the World Book, is it okay to freeze your persimmons?

Paul Lynde: No. You should dress warmly.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: You’re equipped with a pick, a sieve, and a shallow pan. What are you about to do?

Paul Lynde: Joan Crawford’s eyebrows.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: A soap opera in Australia called “Number 96” offers audiences something that no American soap opera has. What?

Paul Lynde: An unfaithful kangaroo.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Who stays pregnant for a longer period of time, your wife or your elephant?

Paul Lynde: Who told you about my elephant?

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: True or false… rubbing grapefruits on your body makes you sexy?

Marty Allen: Whose grapefruits?

(1922 – 2018) comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: According to the World Book, is it okay to freeze your persimmons?

Paul Lynde: No. You should dress warmly.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Would you be surprised to find some wood in your hot dog?

Paul Lynde: No, but I’d be surprised to find some meat.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: According to a recent article in the Miami Herald, at age 78, is Groucho Marx still interested in sex?

Charley Weaver: Yes, but he’s forgotten the secret word. 

Cliff Arquette (1905 – 1974) American actor & comedian
Hollywood Squares

Peter: Do baby elephants nurse?

Paul Lynde: That’s why you should never go topless on an African beach.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Paul, Broderick Crawford says that he is often mistaken for….

Paul Lynde: A dump truck.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: In what state was Abraham Lincoln born?

Paul Lynde: Naked and screaming like the rest of us.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: True or false… a shipment of the Pill was recently recalled because they were actually sugar pills.

Paul Lynde: Does this mean all of the babies born in November will have pimples?

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

John Davidson: A Russian man has just shown you his “balalaika.” What has he shown you?

Jim J. Bullock: Why he’s not so popular with the party girls.

(1955 – ) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: You have some lipstick on your collar. Will treating it with petroleum jelly help?

George Gobel: I'm gonna have a hard enough time explaining the lipstick!

(1919 – 1991) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: According to Ann Landers, your husband, Edgar, is talking in his sleep. Should you be upset if he talks about his secretary?

Joan Rivers: And how… his secretary is a guy!

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Hollywood Squares