Subject: Miscellaneous (Page 30)

About as useful as gooseshit on a pumphandle

Miscellaneous

I’ll wear you out till your hide won’t hold shucks.

Miscellaneous

I swaney, Mama shoulda named me Grace.

Miscellaneous

It’s raining cats and dogs.

Miscellaneous

Let’s be honest: Isn’t a lot what we call tap dancing really just nerves?

Entertainment Miscellaneous

“I’ve grown fat on the contents of charity packages,” said Tom carefully.

Miscellaneous

Hearing nuns’ confessions is like being stoned to death with popcorn.

(1965 – ) film & television actor
Miscellaneous

Felt like a rabbit ran over my grave

Miscellaneous

Forty eleven

Miscellaneous

If you were a poor Indian with no weapons, and a bunch of Conquistadors came up to you and asked where the gold was, I don’t think it would be a good idea to say, “I swallowed it… so sue me.”

Miscellaneous

Speed Limit Enforced by Sniper

Miscellaneous

He can get glad the same way he got mad, or else he's gon' die unhappy.

Miscellaneous

Probably one of the main problems with owning a robot is when you want him to go out in the snow to get the paper, he doesn’t want to go because it’s so cold, so you have to get out your whip and start whipping him, and the kids start crying, and oh why did I ever get this stupid robot?

Miscellaneous

In terms of instant relief, canceling plans is like heroin.

(1982 – ) American comedian, actor, writer & producer
Miscellaneous

A close chewer and a tight spitter.

Miscellaneous

Met a guy this morning with a glass eye; he didn’t tell me – it just came out in the conversation.

(1954 – ) American writer
Miscellaneous Things

When you die, if you get a choice between going to regular heaven or pie heaven, choose pie heaven; It might be a trick, but if it’s not, mmmm, boy.

Miscellaneous

He’d scare a horse from his oats.

Miscellaneous

Beauty’s In The Eye Of The Beer Holder

Miscellaneous

He lives in your neck of the woods.

Miscellaneous

You’d walk her down the front row of a revival meeting.

Miscellaneous