Subject: Miscellaneous (Page 39)

Here’s a picture of me with R.E.M.; that’s me in the corner.

(1964 – ) English comedian
Miscellaneous

Like a martin to his gourd

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He took in a lot of mules.

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That size don't get no bigger.

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Like what God gave a billy goat

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If the captain invited me to his party, after he had whipped me earlier in the day up on deck, I guess I’d go, but I’d try to find some excuse to leave early.

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Sure as a cat has a climbing gear

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He could talk a dog off a meat wagon.

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I think college administrators should encourage students to urinate on walls and bushes, because then when students from another college come sniffing around, they’ll know this is someone else’s territory.

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I’m as busy as a one-armed barber with hives.

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I feel fatter than a possum stuck in a fence hole.

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Infinity Welcomes Careful Drivers

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Up shit creek without a paddle

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Busier than a cross eyed cranberry picker.

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If you’re a boxing referee, it’s probably illegal to wear a bow tie that spins or changes colors.

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His family tree is a trunk.

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Like an old hen with one chick

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Fix your plate.

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Talk to the table.

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Well, shut my mouth.

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I was lying in bed last night and I couldn’t sleep, and I came up with an idea. So I went right home and wrote it down.

1922) American actress, comedian & television personality
Miscellaneous