Subject: Miscellaneous (Page 39)

Better to be the head of a fly than the buttocks of an elephant.

(1938 – 2010) Russian politician
Miscellaneous

You’d walk her down the front row of a revival meeting.

Miscellaneous

Busted two sets of knee caps

Miscellaneous

Good Lord willin’ and the creek don’t rise

Miscellaneous

Don't stand behind a coughing cow.

Miscellaneous Proverbs

Finer than frog's hair

Miscellaneous

Eatin’ long corn

Miscellaneous

Most people don’t realize that two large pieces of coral painted brown and attached to the skull with common wood screws can make a child look like a deer.

Miscellaneous

If you want to fight me you better pack a lunch and bring a flashlight.

Miscellaneous

There is nothing more awkward than the moment you realize you’re getting a double-cheek kiss.

Miscellaneous

I'm gonna put knots on yor head faster than you can rub them.

Miscellaneous

Here’s a good tip for when you go to the beach: a sand dollar may look like a nice cracker that someone left, but trust me, they don’t taste like it.

Miscellaneous

So tight you can hear him squeak when he walks

Miscellaneous

You don't have the sense God gave a chigger.

Miscellaneous

After such an introduction, I can hardly wait to hear what I’m going to say.

(1909 – 1977) British journalist
Miscellaneous

Old as dirt

Miscellaneous

Well look what the cat dragged in.

Miscellaneous

Bigger’n Dallas

Miscellaneous

Anybody who has an identity problem had better wise up and get with the program!

Miscellaneous

Warning to all outer-space guys: you can capture me and put me in your space zoo if you like, but I will sit way in the back of my cage, where it’s hard to see me… and when I do come out, I won’t be wearing any pants.

Miscellaneous

Sloppier than two pigs in a bucket

Miscellaneous