Subject: Miscellaneous (Page 43)

I had a survey done on my house; eight out of 10 people said they really rather liked it.

(1972 – ) Anglo-Irish comedian, writer & actor
Miscellaneous

If brains was grease, he couldn’t slick the head of a pin.

Miscellaneous

The Piano Has Been Drinking

(1949 – ) American singer-songwriter, composer & actor
Miscellaneous

The hair is in the butter.

Miscellaneous

I'll snatch you baldheaded.

Miscellaneous

I Changed Her Oil, She Changed My Life

Miscellaneous Song Titles

If you ever reach total enlightenment while you’re drinking a beer, I bet it makes beer shoot out your nose.

Miscellaneous

Lay out… (of work/school)

Miscellaneous

Well, butter my biscuit.

Miscellaneous

He can get glad the same way he got mad, or else he's gon' die unhappy.

Miscellaneous

Sometimes life seems like a dream, especially when I look down and see that I forgot to put on my pants.

Miscellaneous

I don't think God put me on this planet to judge others. I think he put me on this planet to gather specimens and take them back to my home planet.

Miscellaneous

Knee high to a grasshopper

Miscellaneous

Why is it called Alcoholics Anonymous when the first thing you do is stand up and say, ‘My name is Peter and I am an alcoholic’?

(1973 – ) English comedian, writer, actor, director & producer
Miscellaneous

Parking Space: A place occupied by someone already there.

Miscellaneous

Caught with your pants down.

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Ernest Borgnine Memorial Birthday Party

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Medicine makes people ill, mathematics make them sad, and theology makes them sinful.”

(1483 – 1546) German monk, Catholic priest & professor of theology
Miscellaneous

The quizzical expression of the monkey at the zoo comes from his wondering whether he is his brother's keeper, or his keeper's brother.

(1899 – 1995) humorist
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He has to sneak up on water fountain to get a drink.

Miscellaneous

Speed Limit Enforced by Sniper

Miscellaneous