Subject: Miscellaneous (Page 44)

Drier than lizard spit on a hot rock

Miscellaneous

Flat as a fritter.

Miscellaneous

If a bird had his brains, he fly backwards.

Miscellaneous

“I’m falling into a void,” said Tom flawlessly.

Miscellaneous

You are about as grateful as a toothache.

Miscellaneous

Many people don’t realize that playing dead can help not only with bears, but also at important business meetings.

Miscellaneous

I bet it’s hard to break farmers of the old superstitions like “Tornado got Old Yeller, stay in the cellar.”

Miscellaneous

Better to be the head of a fly than the buttocks of an elephant.

(1938 – 2010) Russian politician
Miscellaneous

Was the Buddha married? His wife would say, “Are you just going to sit around like that all day?”

(1949 – 2016) American comedian & television actor
Miscellaneous

One thing a computer can do that most humans can’t is be sealed up in a cardboard box and sit in a warehouse.

Miscellaneous

If all the world is a stage, and all the men and women merely players, where do all the audiences come from?

(1922 – ) English comedy writer & television presenter
Entertainment Miscellaneous

That's like putting a side saddle on a boar hog!

Miscellaneous

He’d skin a flea for the hide and tallow.

Miscellaneous

It's hotter than Georgia asphalt.

Miscellaneous

He ain't sawing logs, he's clearing brush.

Miscellaneous

Got your feathers ruffled.

Miscellaneous

The quizzical expression of the monkey at the zoo comes from his wondering whether he is his brother's keeper, or his keeper's brother.

(1899 – 1995) humorist
Miscellaneous

Colder than a well digger's ass

Miscellaneous

FREE Mullet Removal

Miscellaneous

Cow Imagination

Miscellaneous

Don’t ever get your speedometer confused with your clock, like I did once, because the faster you go, the later you think you are.

Miscellaneous