Subject: Miscellaneous (Page 44)

Felt like a rabbit ran over my grave

Miscellaneous

Jack: We are lovers.

Liz: That word bums me out unless it’s between the words “meat” and “pizza”.

(1970 – ) American actress, comedian, writer & producer
Miscellaneous

If my dog was ugly as you, I’d shave his butt and make him walk backwards.

Miscellaneous

There is only one immutable law in life – in a gentleman’s toilet, incoming traffic has the right of way.

(1926 – 2009) Irish dramatist, television writer & essayist
Miscellaneous

Wouldn’t say soo-ee if the pigs were eating him

Miscellaneous

He just sits there like a bump on a log.

Miscellaneous

I could eat the horse and chase the jockey.

Miscellaneous

He's gotta whole head full of simple.

Miscellaneous

Where there’s smoke, there’s… pollution.

Miscellaneous Proverbs

Panting like a lizard on a hot rock

Miscellaneous

I’ve got no dog in that fight.

Miscellaneous

He's busier than a cat with two tails.

Miscellaneous

Like a dose of salts through a widow woman.

Miscellaneous

Why do people in ship mutinies always ask for “better treatment”? … I’d ask for a pinball machine, because with all that rocking back and forth you’d probably be able to get a lot of free games.

Miscellaneous

If you go flying back through time, and you see somebody else flying forward into the future, it’s probably best to avoid eye contact.

Miscellaneous

He bought a pig in a poke.

Miscellaneous

Let us have wine and women, mirth and laughter,

Sermons and soda-water the day after.

(1788 – 1824) English poet
Miscellaneous

He’d argue with a wall as long as it’d stand there and take it.

Miscellaneous

If she gets to heaven she'll ask to see the upstairs.

Miscellaneous

I wish I had a Kryptonite cross, because then you could keep both Dracula AND Superman away.

Miscellaneous

He’s not wrapped too tight.

Miscellaneous