Subject: Miscellaneous (Page 47)

I spoke to her and she didn't say pea turkey squat.

Miscellaneous

He’s so ugly, he’d stop an eight-day clock.

Miscellaneous

Crespin’s Law of Observation

Miscellaneous

He is just a hole in search of donut.

Miscellaneous

The Horrible Movie Song

Miscellaneous

That size don't get no bigger.

Miscellaneous

He's gotta whole head full of simple.

Miscellaneous

If she were an inch taller she'd be round.

Miscellaneous

“Mash” the gas

Miscellaneous

If you’re ever shipwrecked on a tropical island and you don’t know how to speak the natives’ language, just say “Poppy-oomy.” I bet it means something.

Miscellaneous

You can put a porcupine in a wood chipper, but you will not make maple syrup.

Miscellaneous

Boy, ain't no difference twixt them and you 'cept God's Love.

Miscellaneous

Useful as a broken leg.

Miscellaneous

Don't let the bear get'cha.

Miscellaneous

He was so fat it was easier to go over top of him than around him.

Miscellaneous

I wish outer space guys would conquer the Earth and make people their pets, because I’d like to have one of those little beds with my name on it.

Miscellaneous

The only contact I ever made with the dead was when I spoke to a journalist from The Sun.

(Steven Patrick Morrissey) (1959 – ) British singer & lyricist
Communication Miscellaneous

My wife told me that I twist everything she says to my advantage; I take that as a compliment.

Miscellaneous

What if nothing exists and we’re all in somebody’s dream? .. or what'’s worse, what if only that fat guy in the third row exists?

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Miscellaneous

I hope that when I die, people say about me, ‘Boy, that guy sure owed me a lot of money.’

Miscellaneous

Give me some sugar.

Miscellaneous