Subject: Miscellaneous (Page 55)

… as clumsy as a blind dog in a meat house.

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Give me some sugar.

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If his brains were dynamite, he couldn’t blow his nose.

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It's 100% easier not to do things than to do them.

(1982 – ) American comedian, actor, writer & producer
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If that boy had a good idea it would die of loneliness.

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They’re like two peas in a pod.

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Glad eye

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Lost as a goose in a snowstorm

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She's so pretty she could make a hound dog smile.

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He’d scare a horse from his oats.

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I believe in making the world safe for our children, but not our children’s children, because I don’t think children should be having sex.

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Quicker than a cat can lick’s its ass

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When I saw the old bum pushing his grocery cart down the street, at first I felt sorry for him; but then when I saw what was in his cart I thought, well, no wonder you’re a bum, look at the dumb things you bought.

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Couldn't hit her in the butt with a red apple.

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You couldn’t catch a catfish in a coffee cup.

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Come here and gimme a Yankee dime.

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You’re like the dog that caught the car.

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If I ever get burned beyond recognition, and you can’t decide if it’s me or not, just put my funny fisherman’s hat on my head. “See, it’s me!”

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I bet the main reason the police keep people away from a plane crash is they don’t want anybody walking in and lying down in the crash stuff, then, when somebody comes up, act like they just woke up and go, “What was THAT?!”

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Give a 50 cent answer for a nickel question.

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That is to much pumpkin for a nickel.

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