Subject: Miscellaneous (Page 55)

I think we consider too much the good luck of the early bird, and not enough the bad luck of the early worm.

(1882 – 1945) 32nd U.S. president
Miscellaneous

The sun don't shine on the same dog's tail/behind all the time.

Miscellaneous

To me, boxing is like a ballet, except there’s no music, no choreography, and the dancers hit each other.

Miscellaneous

Willy-Nilly: Impotent.

Miscellaneous

I wouldn’t mind if animals ate my body, after I’m dead. And before I’m dead, they could lick me.

Miscellaneous

Faster than a knife fight in a phone booth.

Miscellaneous

Some days even my lucky rocketship underpants won’t help.

(1955 – ) cartoonist (Calvin and Hobbes)
Clothing Life Miscellaneous

I love you like a fat kid loves cake.

Miscellaneous

He's dumber than a mud fence.

Miscellaneous

Them that don’t work, don’t eat.

Miscellaneous

I don't think God put me on this planet to judge others. I think he put me on this planet to gather specimens and take them back to my home planet.

Miscellaneous

A face like a bee keepers apprentice

Miscellaneous

Sleepier than a river coon

Miscellaneous

Oooo weee… I see Christmas.

Miscellaneous

You Done The Wrong Woman Wrong

Miscellaneous

Why are there flotation devices under plane seats instead of parachutes?

(1946 – ) American comedian
Miscellaneous

I’m so confused I don’t know whether to scratch my watch or wind my butt.

Miscellaneous

The best way to get a puppy is to beg for a baby brother… they’ll settle for a puppy every time.

Miscellaneous

He’s so chincy, he can call his every dollar by its first name.

Frugal Miscellaneous Money

He looked like Death sucking a sponge.

Miscellaneous

He went and blessed me out!

Miscellaneous