Subject: Miscellaneous (Page 60)

Ain't that the berries!

Miscellaneous

The apple never falls too far from the tree.

Miscellaneous

In my next life, I hope I come back as a parrot, because I already know quite a few words.

Miscellaneous

My boss rides me like a sway back mule.

Miscellaneous

Dumber than a box full of owl shit.

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Dumber than a road lizard

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Throw the hatchet

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He's dumber than a mud fence.

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No bigger than the little end of nothin’ whittled down to a fine point.

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Like a live oak limb

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I’m as anxious as a one-eyed cat watching two rat holes.

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Have no axe to grind

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A kiss is like a fight, with mouths.

(1978 – ) American actress, writer & comedian
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Deader than a door nail

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If that boy was any smarter we’d have to water him every week.

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Stiff in the heels

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Remember what Daddy always says – an ounce of pretension is worth a pound of manure!

(1967 – ) American actress & producer
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Not blessed with beauty…

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He wouldn't go to a funeral unless he could be the corpse.

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What are they planting to grow the seedless watermelon?

(1954 – ) comedian & television actor
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I told my doctor I want to get a vasectomy. He said with a face like mine, I don’t need one.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Miscellaneous