Subject: Miscellaneous (Page 60)

He’s in a foggery.

Miscellaneous

He/she looked like death eating a cracker.

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Is a pig's ass pork?

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Don’t trust the heart, it wants your blood.

(1909 – 1966) Polish poet, writer & aphorist
Miscellaneous

Someday I would like to make a movie that makes people laugh and makes people cry, and then makes them leave the theater in a quick and orderly manner so that others may come in.

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Our grandpas swapped horses.

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We live by the Golden Rule: those who have the gold make the rules.

(1914 –2008) American baseball executive
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I feel like I've been chewed up and spit out.

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I guess if I was starving to death I would eat a dog… but not a collie, because I don’t like the taste of collie.

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Girdler,  Kentucky

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Panting like a lizard on a hot rock

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She’s so ugly she has to sneak up on a glass of water to get a drink.

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“Mash” the gas

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You need to count your fingers after shaking hands with him.

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You need to dance with them what brung you.

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Peter Marshall: Liberace has a new book out called The Things I…?

Paul Lynde: Put in my hair.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
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If you go parachuting, and your parachute doesn’t open, and your friends are all watching you fall, I think a funny gag would be to pretend you were swimming.

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… I hadn’t the heart to touch my breakfast; I told Jeeves to drink it himself.

(1881 – 1975) English writer & humorist
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Beauty’s In The Eye Of The Beer Holder

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She's so mad she's gonna raise sand.

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Boy, ain't no difference twixt them and you 'cept God's Love.

Miscellaneous