Subject: Miscellaneous (Page 60)

I feel like I've been chewed up and spit out.

Miscellaneous

What happens to the hole when the cheese is gone?

(1898 – 1956) German poet, playwright & theater director
Miscellaneous

He’s so dumb, he could throw himself on the ground and miss.

Miscellaneous

Before a mad scientist goes mad, there’s probably a time when he’s only partially mad… and this is the time when he’s going to throw his best parties.

Miscellaneous

I never trust a man under sheets.

(1884 – 1980) author & wit
Miscellaneous

Count the people.

Miscellaneous

Lost as a goose in a snowstorm

Miscellaneous

Spring chicken

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Mites don’t fly this time of the year.

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Crying like a pine knot in a sawmill.

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Bowed up like a Halloween cat

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Toad choker/frog strangler

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Sometimes life seems like a dream… especially when I look down and see that I forgot to put on my pants.

Miscellaneous

like trying to herd cats

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She’s lost as last years Easter egg.

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Medicine makes people ill, mathematics make them sad, and theology makes them sinful.”

(1483 – 1546) German monk, Catholic priest & professor of theology
Miscellaneous

I’ll Marry You Tomorrow (But Let’s Honeymoon Tonite)

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I sold my house this week… I got a pretty good price for it, but it made my landlord mad as hell.

(1949 – 2016) American comedian & television actor
Miscellaneous Things

They scoffed when I told them I’d one day learn the secret of invisibility; if they could only see me now.

(1980 – ) English magician & comedian
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Poor as gully dirt

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Most people don’t realize that two large pieces of coral painted brown and attached to the skull with common wood screws can make a child look like a deer.

Miscellaneous