Subject: Miscellaneous (Page 61)

Any man, in the right situation, is capable of murder, but not any man is capable of being a good camper… so, murder and camping are not as similar as you might think.

Miscellaneous

Jack: We are lovers.

Liz: That word bums me out unless it’s between the words “meat” and “pizza”.

(1970 – ) American actress, comedian, writer & producer
Miscellaneous

In some countries, what I did would be considered polite, especially Fartland.

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Let your vittles shut your mouth.

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The hair is in the butter.

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I wanted to be that cranky old guy that stands on his porch and yells at the neighborhood kids.

(1928 – 1994) American actor
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Don’t let your mouth write a check that your ass can’t cash.

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It’s funny, but when you look at an old man, then you look at a photo of him when he was a young man, then you look at the old man, then the photo, back and forth, pretty soon you’ll do whatever anybody tells you to.

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Cooler than a flip side of a down pillow.

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He couldn't pull the skin off a custard.

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Whenever you read a good book, it’s like the author is right there, in the room talking to you, which is why I don’t like to read good books.

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Consider the daffodil; and while you’re doing that, I’ll be over here, looking through your stuff.

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She looks like she was rode hard and put up wet.

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That’s the worst taste I’ve had in my mouth with the lights on!

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Dumber 'n a sack of wet mice

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It’s funny how annoyed people get when you carry a bullhorn around all the time, even if you don’t use it that often.

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Wouldn’t say soo-ee if the pigs were eating him

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That ain't worth the powder to blow it to hell.

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To me, boxing is like a ballet, except there’s no music, no choreography, and the dancers hit each other.

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Them that don’t work, don’t eat.

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If you lived in the Dark Ages and you were a catapult operator, I bet the most common question people would ask is, “Can’t you make it shoot farther?” “No, I’m sorry. That’s as far as it shoots.”

Miscellaneous