Subject: Miscellaneous (Page 67)

You'll go to hell for lyin' just as fast as fer stealin' chickens.

Miscellaneous

That's the Irish people all over – they treat a joke as a serious thing, and a serious thing as a joke.

(1880 – 1964) Irish dramatist
Miscellaneous

Refried Dreams

Miscellaneous

What are all these “other dimensions” I keep hearing about? … to me, there’s only one dimension worth anything, and that’s the good ole U.S. of A.

Miscellaneous

She Got The Ring And I Got The Finger

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It’s cold enough to freeze a turkey off the roost.

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No bigger than the little end of nothin’ whittled down to a fine point.

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Is it possible to brush your teeth without wiggling your backside?

(1973 – ) English comedian, writer, actor, director & producer
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Couldn't hit a barn if you were on the inside.

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He couldn't hit water if he fell out of a boat.

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Drunk as Cooter Brown

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“Mash” the gas

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He’s so tight when he blinks his eyes his toe’s curl up.

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Do it up brown

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I could stand flat footed and piss over a dump truck.

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Don’t care if I do.

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Get the short end of the stick

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You look about as happy as a tick on a fat dog.

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Lying like a snake in the grass.

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Nobody will ever notice it on a galloping horse.

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He was grinnin' like a possum eatin' bumble bees.

Miscellaneous