Quotes and One Liners
humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more
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Subject:
Miscellaneous
(Page 67)
He don’t have a pot to piss in nor a window to throw it out of.
Anonymous
Miscellaneous
Other expressions
I’m so confused I don’t know whether to scratch my watch or wind my butt.
Country expression
Miscellaneous
Confusion
Other expressions
She'll be late to her own funeral.
Country expression
Miscellaneous
Lateness
Other expressions
Tardiness
He was wound up tighter ‘en a bango string.
Country expression
Miscellaneous
High strung
Other expressions
Does a snake have hips?
Country expression
Miscellaneous
Obviously no
Of course not
Other expressions
If the Lord’s willing and the creeks don’t rise.
Country expression
Miscellaneous
Other expressions
He's nuttier than a squirrel shit.
Country expression
Miscellaneous
Crazy
Nutty
Other expressions
Peter Marshall: Helen Gurley Brown recently said of Henry Kissinger, "His most outstanding endearing quality is his ability to make someone feel…" Feel what?
Jan Murray: His thighs.
Jan Murray
(1916 - 2006) American stand-up comedian, actor & game show host
Miscellaneous
He looks like he got beat with a ugly stick.
Country expression
Miscellaneous
Other expressions
Breast baby
Country expression
Miscellaneous
A nursing baby
Other expressions
Forty eleven
Country expression
Miscellaneous
A great many
Other expressions
Spent the last 3 days, alone, trying to learn escapology… I need to get out more.
Pete Firman
(1980 – ) English magician & comedian
Miscellaneous
Wordplay
Escape
Louder than two skeletons fighting on a tin roof.
Country expression
Miscellaneous
Loud
Other expressions
He/she looked like death eating a cracker.
Country expression
Miscellaneous
Other expressions
If you’re robbing a bank and you’re pants fall down, I think it’s okay to laugh and to let the hostages laugh too, because, come on, life is funny.
Miscellaneous
Like a turkey in young corn
Country expression
Miscellaneous
Content
Fulfilled
Got the world by the tail
Other expressions
Jesus Loves Me But He Can’t Stand You
Austin Lounge Lizards
Miscellaneous
It’s raining cats and dogs.
Country expression
Miscellaneous
Other expressions
Rain
Chew the bark off
Country expression
Miscellaneous
Examine closely
Other expressions
I don’t chew my cabbage twice!
Country expression
Miscellaneous
Other expressions
You should have listened the first time because I don’t repeat myself!
Peep of day
Country definition
Miscellaneous
Dawn
First light
Other expressions
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