Subject: Miscellaneous (Page 70)

Church was a reminder there was something worse than school.

(1946 – ) American comedian
Miscellaneous

I bet when they weren’t fighting, Vikings with horn helmets had to stick potatoes on the ends of the horns, so as to avoid eye-pokings to fellow Vikings and lady Vikings.

Miscellaneous

In weightlifting, I don't think sudden, uncontrolled urination should automatically disqualify you.

Miscellaneous

They live just a hoot and a holler down the road.

Miscellaneous

To get clear water, go to the head of the branch.

Miscellaneous

Ain't that the berries!

Miscellaneous

I was sad, because I had no shoes, until I met a man that had no feet; so, I took his shoes, cuz hey, he wan’t using them!

Miscellaneous

Held his hind leg

Miscellaneous

Better an empty house than an unwelcomed guest.

Miscellaneous

In my opinion anyone interested in improving himself should not rule out becoming pure energy.

Miscellaneous

Peep of day

Miscellaneous

Fly off the handle

Miscellaneous

That’s the worst taste I’ve had in my mouth with the lights on!

Miscellaneous

The wages of sin are death, but by the time taxes are taken out, it’s just sort of a tired feeling.

(1959 – ) American comedian
Miscellaneous

He’d argue with a wall as long as it’d stand there and take it.

Miscellaneous

Pretty as you please

Miscellaneous

More than plenty

Miscellaneous

Skin your own skunk

Miscellaneous

Better not take a dog on the space shuttle, because if he sticks his head out when you’re coming home, his face might burn up.

Miscellaneous

He’s so tight when he blinks his eyes his toe’s curl up.

Miscellaneous

The Care and Feeding of Stray Vampires

Miscellaneous