Subject: Miscellaneous (Page 72)

He's busier than a one-legged man in a butt-kickin' contest.

Miscellaneous

Speaker: I have only ten minutes and hardly know where to begin.

Voice in the back: Begin at the ninth.

Communication Miscellaneous Speech

You don't have the sense God gave a chigger.

Miscellaneous

Hearing nuns’ confessions is like being stoned to death with popcorn.

(1965 – ) film & television actor
Miscellaneous

He acts like he’s ten feet tall and bullet-proof.

Miscellaneous

The difference between a man and a boy is, a boy wants to grow up to be a fireman, but a man wants to grow up to be a giant monster fireman.

Miscellaneous

She's uglier than homemade soap.

Miscellaneous

Well, shoot me for a billygoat.

Miscellaneous

If I ever get real rich, I hope I’m not real mean to poor people, like I am now.

Miscellaneous

When old dogs bark, it's time to watch out.

Miscellaneous

Sip 'N See

Miscellaneous

Two shakes of a lamb's tail

Miscellaneous

The other day I got out my can-opener and was opening a can of worms when I thought, what am I doing?!

Miscellaneous

Longer than a visit from my mother in law.

Miscellaneous

If they ever have a haunted house for dogs, I think a good display would be a bathtub full of soapy water.

Miscellaneous

80 Proof Bottle of Tear Stopper

Miscellaneous

He ran like his feet were on fire and his ass was catchin'.

Miscellaneous

They live just a hoot and a holler down the road.

Miscellaneous

Don't gobble in the woods during hunting season.

Miscellaneous

Sometimes life seems like a dream… especially when I look down and see that I forgot to put on my pants.

Miscellaneous

Just as irrigation is the lifeblood of the Southwest, lifeblood is the soup of cannibals.

Miscellaneous