Subject: Miscellaneous (Page 8)

Purty as a picture

Miscellaneous

Can’t the Marx Brothers be arrested and maybe even tortured for all the confusion and problems they’ve caused?

Miscellaneous

A face like a boiled fist

Miscellaneous

Broken Groin, South Carolina

Miscellaneous

Grandma, Show Us Your Tattoos

Miscellaneous

Well, if that don’t put pepper in the gumbo!

Miscellaneous

I’m fixin’ to show you what a whuppin’ is all about!

Miscellaneous

You know one thing that will really make a woman mad?… just run up and kick her in the butt. (P.S. This also works with men.)

Miscellaneous

Probably one of the worst things about being a genie in a magic lamp is a little thing called “lamp stench.”

Miscellaneous

Jesus Loves Me But He Can’t Stand You

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I tried water polo and my horse drowned.

(1964 – ) English comedian, writer, actor & musician
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Happier 'n a puppy with two peters.

Miscellaneous

If you always do what you've always done, you'll always get what you always got.

(Ask Amy) (1959 – ) American advice columnist
Miscellaneous

You’re like the dog that caught the car.

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He just sits there like a bump on a log.

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He has more information than a Sears Roebuck catalog.

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The old pool shooter had won many a game in his life. But now it was time to hang up the cue. When he did, all the other cues came crashing go the floor. Sorry, he said with a smile.

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Busy as a stump-tailed cow in fly time.

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Prettier than a blue-nosed mule.

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If you ever catch on fire, try to avoid seeing yourself in the mirror, because I bet that’s what REALLY throws you into a panic.

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Full as a tick

Miscellaneous