Subject: Money (Page 26)

The dime hasn’t been minted that could march past Jack Benny.

(1894 – 1956) American radio comedian
Frugal Money

There's many a pessimist who got that way by financing an optimist.

Characteristics Money

[Charles Dickens] was the bravest man who ever lived; he fathered ten children before they became tax deductions.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Children Family Money Taxes

An inexorable upward movement leads administrators to higher salaries and narrower spans of control.

Money Murphy’s Laws

He once gave Gracie a coupon for a year’s subscription to a magazine as a gift – and all she had to do was fill it out and send it in with a check.

(1896 – 1996) comedian, actor & entertainer
Frugal Money

Reporter: What did you think about the collective bargaining proposal?

Payton: (making $2,700,000 per year): People would have to cut their lifestyle, and they’d live like penny-pinchers.

professional football coach
Misspokements Money Sports

Some couples go over their budgets very carefully every month; others just go over them.


Money

The chief problem with lower income farmers is poverty.

(1908 – 1979) U.S. vice president & governor (New York)
Misspokements Money

Government expands to absorb revenue and then some.

Government Money Murphy’s Laws

It’s morally wrong to allow a sucker to keep his money.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Money

We were poor. we were so poor, in my neighborhood the rainbow was in black-and-white.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Money Poverty Self

What the insurance companies have done is to reverse the business so that the public at large insures the insurance companies.


Money

Under current practices, both expenditures and revenues rise to meet each other, no matter which one may be in excess.

Money Murphy’s Laws

If ignorance ever goes to $40 a barrel, I want drilling rights on George Bush's head.

(1943 – ) U.S. agriculture commissioner, columnist, activist & author
Insults Intelligence Money

Sure, it's nice to win; but there's only one thing that's important to me and that's the money we're going to get, win or lose.

professional baseball player
Baseball Money Sports

I went to the cinema, and the prices were: Adults $5.00, children $2.50; so I said, “Give me two boys and a girl.”

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Children Entertainment Money

If you love someone, set them free. If they come back, they’re probably broke.

Emotions Love Money

Do you think that when they asked George Washington for ID that he just whipped out a quarter?

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Money People Situations

An injured friend of his was going to receive back pay radioactively.

Malaprops Money Time

Vacation: Two weeks on the sunny sands – and the rest of the year on the financial rocks.

(1920 – 2001) American writer & humorist
Activities Money Places Time

Every cloud has its silver lining but it is sometimes a little difficult to get it to the mint.

(1878 – 1937) humorist, journalist & author
Money Situations