Subject: Money (Page 35)

If you owe the bank $100 that's your problem; if you owe the bank $100 million, that’s the bank’s problem.

(1892 – 1976) oil industrialist (once world’s richest man)
Money

Income: The sum of money which it costs more than to live.

Definitions Money

The last thing my kids ever did to earn money was lose their baby teeth.

(1917 – 2012) comedian & actress
Children Family Money People

Stand-Up [comedy] is a lot like sex; there's a lot of crying involved and I get paid to do it.

(1982 – ) American actress & comedian
Entertainment Money Sex

When it comes to giving—some people stop at nothing.

Characteristics Money People

No matter how little money and how few possessions you own, having a dog makes you rich.

Animals Dogs Money Wealth

Anybody who thinks talk is cheap should get some legal advice.

(1908 – 1980) businessman, humorist
Government Law Lawyers Money Opinion

If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.

(1907 – 1987) journalist & columnist
Money

People who say that money can't buy happiness just don't know where to shop.

(1958 – ) Australian author
Emotions Happiness Money People Shopping

Tradition is what you resort to when you don’t have the time or the money to do it right.

(1905 – 1988) Austrian-born American conductor
Money Situations Time

There’s a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking; it’s called marriage.

(1953 – 1992) American comedian
Marriage Money

The tax collector must love poor people, he's creating so many of them.

(1915 – 1977) columnist, writer & actor
Government Money Poverty Taxes

I believe that sex is the most wonderful and beautiful thing that money can buy.

(1945 – ) comedian, actor, writer, playwright & musician
Money Sex

If all the nations in the world are in debt, where did all the money go?

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Money Places World

A bank is a place where they lend you an umbrella in fair weather and ask for it back when it rains.

(1874 – 1963) American poet
Money Science/Weather

There is only one word for aid that is genuinely without strings, and that word is blackmail.

(1902 – 1977) Scottish journalist & author
Money

A set of rules laid out by professionals to show the way they would like to act if it was profitable.

(1902 – 1963) Danish actor
Characteristics Money

Prosperity is the best protector of principle.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Characteristics Money

You might be a redneck if… you think the stock market has fence around it.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Money People Rednecks

I put mirrors around all the light bulbs; now the electric company sends me a check each month.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Money Situations

Saving is a very fine thing; especially when your parents have done it for you.

(1874 – 1965) British prime minister, politician, statesman & orator
Money