Subject: Places

It’s a small world, but I wouldn’t want to have to paint it.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer

In America, you watch Big Brother; in Soviet Russia, Big Brother watches you!

(1951 – ) Soviet-American comedian

The House of Lords is like a glass of champagne that has stood for five days.

(1883 – 1967) British prime minister & politician

We will invest in our people, quality education, job opportunity, family, neighborhood, and yes, a thing we call America.

(1947 – ) U.S. vice president & politician

Every time an Oscar is given out, an agent gets his wings.

(1948 – ) American actress & director

I don’t know why I should have to learn Algebra… I’m never likely to go there.

(1942 – ) Scottish comedian, musician & actor

In America any boy may become President and I suppose it's just one of the risks he takes.

(1900 – 1965) diplomat & Democratic politician

New York is the only place where if you have talent, and you believe in yourself, and you show people what you can do then some day, maybe – just maybe – you could get shoved in front of a moving subway train.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist

My house is on the median strip of a highway; you don't really notice, except I have to leave the driveway doing 60 MPH.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer

I think we should take Iraq and Iran and combine them into one country and call it Irate; all the pissed off people live in one place and get it over with.

(1957 – ) American actor, comedian, writer & director

Toronto is a kind of New York operated by the Swiss.

(1921 – 2004) English actor & author

Some men are all right in their place… if they only knew the right places!

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol

You can't find any true closeness in Hollywood, because everybody does the fake closeness so well.

(1956 – ) author & movie actress

It is important to remember that the French have always been there when they needed us.


New Jersey is to America as America is to the world.

(1977 – ) American television producer, writer & comedian

If there is no Hell, a good many preachers are obtaining money under false pretenses.

(1862 – 1935) American athlete & evangelist

New York is not Mecca… it just smells like it.

(1927 – 2018) playwright & screenwriter

A New Zealander in a frenzy is an American in a coma.

(1970 – ) New Zealand stand-up comedian & radio & television personality

Africa is God's country, and He can have it.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host

The world is divided into people who do things – and people who get the credit.

(1873 – 1931) businessman, politician & diplomat

New York… when civilization falls apart, remember, we were way ahead of you.

(1947 – ) comedian & television host