Subject: Places (Page 3)

I call our bathroom 'The Vault' because the door's always locked and whatever goes on in there costs a shitload of money.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Money Places

Loving Chicago is like loving a woman with a broken nose.

(1909 – 1981) writer
Emotions Love Places

Trains in Britain can be late for all sorts of reasons: speed restrictions, livestock on the track, or a totally substandard rail infrastructure that’s publicly funded, privately run and answerable to no one… all sorts of reasons.

(1979 – ) English comedian & actor
England Places

Africa is God's country, and He can have it.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Places TV/Movie Quotes

Isn't it nice that people who prefer Los Angeles to San Francisco live there?

(1916 – 1997) newspaper journalist
People Places

Americans can eat garbage, provided you sprinkle it liberally with ketchup, mustard, chili sauce, Tabasco sauce, cayenne pepper, or any other condiment which destroys the original flavor of the dish.

(1891 – 1980) novelist & painter
Eating Food/Drink People Places

England and America are two countries separated by a common language.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist
America Communication England Language Places

If this country was a person it would be a used car salesman with a flamethrower. – America

(1957 – 2007) American stand-up comedian & actor
America Places

Studies show 1 in 5 British teens are unable to peel an orange… it’s a good job they’ve all got knives then.

(1961 – ) English standup comedian, actor & writer
England People Places

My local’s rough as anything; I went to the pub quiz the other night… first question was, “What the f**k are you looking at?”

(1961 – ) English standup comedian, actor & writer
Places

The difference between America and England is that Americans think 100 years is a long time, while the English think 100 miles is a long way.

Irish music columnist & journalist
America England Places

Camp: A place in the country where a mother sends her children for her vacation.

Definitions Places

Even today, well-brought-up English girls are taught by their mothers to boil all veggies for at least a month and a half, just in case one of the dinner guests turns up without his teeth.

(1935 – ) columnist, journalist & novelist
England Food/Drink Places

Rome had senators too, and that is why it declined.

(1902 – 1963) Danish actor
Places Politicians

It is by the goodness of God that in our country we have those three unspeakably precious things: freedom of speech, freedom of conscience, and the prudence to never practice either of them.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
America Communication Language Places Speech

Anyone who has been to an English public school will always feel comparatively at home in prison.

(1903 – 1966) English writer
Education England Places School

He (Robert Benchley) and I had an office so tiny that an inch smaller and it would have been adultery.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet
Places

There is no distinctly native American criminal class except Congress.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
America Congress Government Places Problems

I look upon Switzerland as an inferior sort of Scotland.

(1771 – 1845) English writer & Anglican clergyman
Places

The four building blocks of the universe are fire, water, gravel and vinyl.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Places Science/Weather Things

Terrible tragedy in the South Seas… three million people trapped alive!

(1947 – ) New Zealand cartoonist
Places