Subject: Places (Page 2)

America: A land where a citizen will cross the ocean to fight for democracy, and won’t cross the street to vote in a national election.

America Definitions Places

Brooklyn praise is half slander.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Places

I think we should take Iraq and Iran and combine them into one country and call it Irate; all the pissed off people live in one place and get it over with.

(1957 – ) American actor, comedian, writer & director
Places

I was just vacationing in Amsterdam, where prostitution is legal; let me rephrase that – I was just vacationing in Amsterdam because prostitution is legal.

American comedian & writer
Activities Places Travel

A spa hotel? It’s like a normal hotel, only in reception there’s a picture of a pebble.

(1968 – ) Welsh comedian
Places

I was walking down the street, something caught my eye – and dragged it fifteen feet.

(1956 – ) American comedian
Body Places Situations

So I'm at the wailing wall, standing there like a moron, with my harpoon.

(1956 – ) American comedian
Fools Intelligence Places

The coldest winter I ever spent was a summer in San Francisco.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Cold Places Science/Weather

You can't find any true closeness in Hollywood, because everybody does the fake closeness so well.

(1956 – ) author & movie actress
Emotions Hollywood Places

As the plane lands in Glasgow airport, passengers are reminded to set their watch back, 25 years.

(1972 – ) Scottish comedian
Places

What I gained by being in France was learning to be better satisfied with my own country.

(1709 – 1784) English author, essayist, critic, editor & lexicographer
Places

A car is useless in New York, essential everywhere else; the same with good manners.

(1913 – 1983) journalist & author
Autos New York City Places Things

Suburbia: Where they tear out the trees and then name streets after them.

Definitions Places

A small town is a place where there’s no place to go where you shouldn’t.

(1928 - ) American pianist, writer, composer & music producer
Places

That would be a good thing for them to cut on my tombstone: Wherever she went, including here, it was against her better judgment.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet
Death Places

I've searched all the parks in all the cities and found no statues of committees.

(1874 – 1936) English author & mystery novelist
Places Success Things

I tried to walk into Target, but I missed.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Places

The Norwegian language has been described as German spoken underwater.

Communication Language Places

In Montana, a policeman will pull you over because he’s lonely.

(1954 – ) American comedian, writer & musician
Places

France has neither winter nor summer nor morals; apart from these drawbacks it is a fine country.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Places

Also-ran: A British athlete.

British writer, cartoonist, poet & performer
England Places Wordplay