Subject: Places » America (Page 3)

The Holocaust was an obscene period in our nation's history. I mean in this century's history. But we all lived in this century. Well, I didn't live in this century.

(1947 – ) U.S. vice president & politician
America History Misspokements Places

California is the only state in the union where you can fall asleep under a rose bush in full bloom and freeze to death.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
America Places

Folks who don't know why America is the Land of Promise should be here during an election campaign.

(1908 – 2002) comedian, radio & television actor
America Elections/Voting Government Places

The people of this country have allowed football to get completely out of hand, and that’s fortunate for my bank account.

(1918 – 1995) American sports journalist & television commentator
America Football Places Sports

America: The only country that matters. If you want to experience other ‘cultures,’ use an atlas or a ham radio.

(1970 – ) American actor, writer & carpenter
America Places TV/Movie Quotes

In America there are two classes of travel: first class and with children.

(1889 – 1945) actor, author & humorist
Activities America Places Travel

I have a map of the United States… actual size.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
America Places Things

You can travel fifty thousand miles in America without once tasting a piece of good bread.

(1891 – 1980) novelist & painter
Activities America Food/Drink Places Travel

One-third of the people in the United States promote, while the other two-thirds provide.

America Murphy’s Laws People

Living in England, provincial England, must be like being married to a stupid but exquisitely beautiful wife.

(1910 – 1997) American writer
America Places

America is the only country where a significant proportion of the population believes that professional wrestling is real, but the moon landing was faked.

(1947 – ) comedian & television host
America Places

In America you can go on the air and kid the politicians, and the politicians can go on the air and kid the people.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
America Government People Places Politicians

All great change in America begins at the dinner table.

(1911 – 2004) 40th U.S. president & actor
America Places

They added up all the people in this country who consider themselves a minority and it added up to more than the population of the country.

(1956 – ) comedian, television host, social critic & political commentator
America People Places

What middle class? … there's only seven people left in the middle class – who cares about them?

(1927 – 1997) Am. comedian & satirist notable for mock presidential campaign
America People Places

Thank God we're living in a country where the sky's the limit, the stores are open late and you can shop in bed thanks to television.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
America Places Television

America never lost a war or won a peace conference.

(1886 – 1969) American journalist & humorist
America Conflict Places War

An Englishmen thinks seated; a Frenchmen standing; an American pacing, an Irishman, afterwards.

(1858 – 1932) American physicist, physician & humorist
America England Intelligence People Thinking

I went to San Francisco; I found someone's heart.


America Places

The suburbs are like the bleacher seats of life.

(1966 – 2011) American stand-up comedian
America Places

The trouble with this country is that there are too many politicians who believe, with a conviction based on experience, that you can fool all of the people all of the time.

(1881 – 1960) American columnist
America Government People Places Politicians