Subject: Sports » Baseball (Page 25)

Tommy John is so old, he uses Absorbine Senior.

(1952 – ) American sportscaster

I've seldom seen a horny player walk into a bar and not let out exactly what he did for a living.

(1947 – ) professional baseball player

If a horse won’t eat it, I don’t want to play on it.

(1942 – ) American baseball player

The average age of our bench is deceased.

Los Angeles Dodgers’ manager

Doctors tell me I have the body of a thirty year old. I know I have the brain of a fifteen year old. If you've got both, you can play baseball.

American baseball player

 If you get three strikes, even the best lawyer in the world can’t get you off.

(1914 – 1986) American baseball team owner & promoter

The only problem I really have in the outfield is with fly balls.

(1960 – ) Puerto Rican professional baseball player

There are two theories on hitting the knuckleball; unfortunately, neither of them work.

professional baseball coach

Baseball is a game where a curve is an optical illusion, a screwball can be a pitch or a person, stealing is legal and you can spit anywhere you like except in the umpire's eye or on the ball.

(1919 – 1998) American sportswriter

I went to church the other day to pray for our pitchers… but there wasn't enough candles.

baseball manager

I love doubleheaders; that way I get to keep my uniform on longer.

Los Angeles Dodgers’ manager

When Neil Armstong first set foot on the moon, he and all the space scientists were puzzled by an unidentifiable white object; I knew immediately what it was… that was a home run ball hit off me in 1933 by Jimmie Foxx.

(1908 – 1989) American baseball player

Don't worry, the fans don't start booing until July.

(1930 – 2013) American baseball manager

I’ve never seen a game like this; every game this year has been like this.

(1924 – 2014) American baseball player & announcer

There are younger Aztec ruins.

sportswriter & newspaper columnist

I’d like to help you, but you don’t drink.

professional baseball player & manager

The secret of my success was clean living and a fast outfield.

(1908 – 1989) American baseball player

Sandy’s fastball was so fast, some batters would start to swing as he was on his way to the mound.

(1919 – 1998) American sportswriter

The best thing about baseball is that you can do something about yesterday tomorrow.

Venezuelan baseball player

I'm not the manager because I'm always right, but I'm always right because I'm the manager.

(1925 – 2005) American baseball player & manager

He had the ability of taking a bad situation and making it immediately worse.

(1881 – 1965) American Major League Baseball executive