Subject: Sports » Golf (Page 12)

Impossible Lie: In golf, a ball that is in a position that is both completely obstructed by an immovable object and continuously observed by an incorruptible player.

Definitions Golf Sports

Keep close count of your nickels and dimes, stay away from whiskey, and never concede a putt.

(1912 – 2002) professional golfer
Golf Sports

Man blames most accidents on fate – but feels a more personal responsibility when he makes a hole-in-one on the golf course.

Golf Sports

They're why the Hubble telescope is pointed away from the earth.

(1958 – ) Irish professional golfer & commentator
Golf Sports

I figured out why they took out 8,000 trees at Oakmont. It's so people won't hang themselves.

professional golf caddie
Golf Sports

Four-letter Word: Par for the coarse.

Definitions Golf Language Sports

That sounded like he hit a roll of wet toilet paper.

(1958 – ) Irish professional golfer & commentator
Golf Sports

My psychiatrist prescribed a game of golf as an antidote to the feelings of euphoria I experience from time to time.

(1941 – ) poet, author, editor & anthologist
Golf Sports

Some weeks Nick likes to use Fanny, other weeks he prefers to do it by himself.

sports commentator
Golf Misspokements Sports

Golf is played by twenty million mature American men whose wives think they are out having fun.

(1907 – 1987) American journalist & author
Golf Sports

The shortest distance between any two points on a golf course is a straight line that passes directly through the center of a very large tree.

Golf Murphy’s Laws Problems Sports

I think they just got through marinating the greens.

(1925 – 2015) baseball player, coach & manager
Golf Sports Yogi-isms

Golf: An ineffectual attempt to direct an uncontrollable sphere into an inaccessible hole with instruments ill-adapted to the purpose.

(1874 – 1965) British prime minister, politician, statesman & orator
Golf Sports

If you’re caught on a golf course during a storm and are afraid of lightning, hold up a 1-iron; not even God can hit a 1-iron.

(1942 – ) American professional golfer
God Golf Sports

Why am I using a new putter? Because the old one didn’t float too well.

American professional golfer
Golf Sports

There is an old saying: If a man comes home with sand in his cuffs and cockleburs in his pants, don't ask him what he shot.

(1912 – 2002) professional golfer
Golf Sports

The people who gave us golf and called it a game are the same people who gave us bag pipes and called it music.

Entertainment Golf Music Sports

A professional will tell you the amount of flex you need in the shaft of your club. The more the flex, the more strength you will need to break the thing over your knees.

Golf Sports

Golf is the only game in which a precise knowledge of the rules can earn one a reputation for bad sportsmanship.

Irish journalist & author
Golf Sports

Golf is the cruelest game, because eventually it will drag you out in front of the whole school, take your lunch money and slap you around.

American sportswriter
Golf Sports

I play in the low 80's. If it's any hotter than that, I won't play.

(1902 – 1971) American comedian & singer
Golf Heat Science/Weather Sports