Subject: Sports » Golf (Page 12)

Sam Snead was born with a natural ability to keep his bar bills as low as his golf scores.

(1910 – 1983) professional golfer

Golf is golf. You hit the ball, you go find it; then you hit it again.

American professional golfer

[The ball] came out like a dead mouse from a cornfield.

(1958 – ) Irish professional golfer & commentator

I never knew what top golf was like until I turned professional… then it was too late.

American professional golfer

A well-adjusted man is one who can play golf as if it were a game.

I am sorry Nick Faldo couldn't be here this week… he is attending the birth of his next wife.

(1958 – ) Irish professional golfer & commentator

It looks like he has a divot over each ear.

(1958 – ) Irish professional golfer & commentator

I wouldn't trust him to sit on a toilet the right way.

(1958 – ) Irish professional golfer & commentator

I miss the putt. I miss the putt. I miss the putt. I make the putt.

Spanish professional golfer

Golf is more fun than walking naked in a strange place, but not much.

(1924 – 2003) American comedian & actor

I played golf. I did not get a hole in one, but I did hit a guy. … you're supposed to yell, Fore! but I was too busy yelling, “There ain't no way that's gonna hit him!”

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian

If a caddie can help you, you don't know how to play golf.

(1929 – ) American author & sportswriter

Why am I using a new putter? Because the old one didn’t float too well.

American professional golfer

My favorite shots are the practice swing and the conceded putt… the rest can never be mastered.

(1946 – ) British politician

Nothing goes down slower than a golf handicap.

professional golfer

As an intellectual, he bestowed upon the games of golf and bridge all the enthusiasm and perseverance that he withheld from his books and ideas.

(1920 – 1982) foreign bureau chief, editor & speechwriter

Your clubs.

(1916 – 1987) television actor & comedian

Some people say I play erratic golf. What they mean is I frequently play lousy.

American professional golfer

My psychiatrist prescribed a game of golf as an antidote to the feelings of euphoria I experience from time to time.

(1941 – ) poet, author, editor & anthologist

Keep close count of your nickels and dimes, stay away from whiskey, and never concede a putt.

(1912 – 2002) professional golfer

Putts get real difficult the day they hand out the money.

(1942 – ) American professional golfer