Golf | Just-One-Liners.com

Subject: Sports » Golf (Page 2)

You should always throw a club ahead of you so that you don’t have to walk any extra distance to get it.

Tommy Bolt

(1916 – 2008) American professional golfer

Golf Sports

The reason most people play golf is to wear clothes they would not be caught dead in otherwise.

Roger Simon

novelist, screenwriter & businessman

Clothing Golf Sports

Playing golf can be interesting, but not the part where you try to hit the little ball; only the part where you drive the cart.

Dave Barry

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist

Golf Sports

Golf is a game in which you yell ‘fore,’ shoot six, and write down five.

Paul Harvey

(1918 – 2009) radio broadcaster

Golf Sports

The niblick, with its heavy head of iron, is a capital club for knocking down solicitors.

Anonymous

Golf Sports Golf clubs Niblick

I enjoy the oohs! and aahs! from the gallery when I hit my drives; but I'm getting pretty tired of the awws! and uhhs! when I miss the putt.

John Daly

professional golfer

Golf Sports

Golf can best be defined as an endless series of tragedies obscured by an occasional miracle.

Anonymous

Golf Sports

I spent $3 million on drink and $3 million on gambling, but I wasted the rest.

John Daly

professional golfer

Golf Sports

Concentration comes out of a combination of confidence and hunger.

Arnold Palmer

(1929 – 2016) American golfer

Golf Sports Concentration

I can airmail the golf ball, but sometimes I don't put the right address on it.

Jim Dent

American professional golfer

Golf Sports

I don't have anywhere to put my elbows when I putt now.

John Daly

professional golfer

Golf Sports On how his weight loss affected his game

There are three things in the world that he held in the smallest esteem – slugs, poets and caddies with hiccups.

P.G. Wodehouse

(1881 – 1975) English writer & humorist

Golf Sports Caddies

This one'll slide down the hill like a greased piglet.

David Feherty

(1958 – ) Irish professional golfer & commentator

Golf Sports On a errant putt

I went to bed and I was old and washed up. I woke up a rookie… what could be better?

Ray Floyd

American professional golfer

Golf Sports On turning 50 and qualifying for the Senior Tour

It's so bad I could putt off a tabletop and still leave the ball halfway down the leg.

J.C. Snead

professional golfer

Golf Sports On his putting

The only time my prayers are never answered is on the golf course.

Billy Graham

(1918 – ) American Christian evangelist

Golf Sports Prayers

They christened their game ‘golf’ because they were Scottish and reveled in meaningless Celtic noises in the back of the throat.

Stephen Fry

(1957 – ) English actor, writer, journalist, comedian & film director

Golf Places Sports Scotland

I play in the low 80's. If it's any hotter than that, I won't play.

Joe E. Lewis

(1902 – 1971) American comedian & singer

Golf Heat Science/Weather Sports

Playing golf is like going to a strip joint… after 18 holes you’re tired and most of your balls are missing.

Tim Allen

(1953 – ) comedian & actor

Golf Sports

The score a player reports on any hole should always be regarded as his opening offer.

Thomas Mulligan

Anglo-Irish golfer

Golf Sports Scores

Yeah, after each of my downhill putts.

Homero Blancas

professional golfer

Golf Sports Putting When asked if he had any uphill putts

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Subject: Sports » Golf (Page 2)

You should always throw a club ahead of you so that you don’t have to walk any extra distance to get it.

The reason most people play golf is to wear clothes they would not be caught dead in otherwise.

Playing golf can be interesting, but not the part where you try to hit the little ball; only the part where you drive the cart.

Golf is a game in which you yell ‘fore,’ shoot six, and write down five.

The niblick, with its heavy head of iron, is a capital club for knocking down solicitors.

I enjoy the oohs! and aahs! from the gallery when I hit my drives; but I'm getting pretty tired of the awws! and uhhs! when I miss the putt.

Golf can best be defined as an endless series of tragedies obscured by an occasional miracle.

I spent $3 million on drink and $3 million on gambling, but I wasted the rest.

Concentration comes out of a combination of confidence and hunger.

I can airmail the golf ball, but sometimes I don't put the right address on it.

I don't have anywhere to put my elbows when I putt now.

There are three things in the world that he held in the smallest esteem – slugs, poets and caddies with hiccups.

This one'll slide down the hill like a greased piglet.

I went to bed and I was old and washed up. I woke up a rookie… what could be better?

It's so bad I could putt off a tabletop and still leave the ball halfway down the leg.

The only time my prayers are never answered is on the golf course.

They christened their game ‘golf’ because they were Scottish and reveled in meaningless Celtic noises in the back of the throat.

I play in the low 80's. If it's any hotter than that, I won't play.

Playing golf is like going to a strip joint… after 18 holes you’re tired and most of your balls are missing.

The score a player reports on any hole should always be regarded as his opening offer.

Yeah, after each of my downhill putts.