Subject: Sports » Golf (Page 5)

That son of a bitch was able to hole a putt over sixty feet of peanut brittle.

American professional golfer

If a caddie can help you, you don't know how to play golf.

(1929 – ) American author & sportswriter

On a recent survey, 80 percent of golfers admitted cheating… the other 20 percent lied.

(1941 – ) poet, author, editor & anthologist

Golf is not so much a sport as an insult to lawns.

Golf is a game in which you yell ‘fore,’ shoot six, and write down five.

(1918 – 2009) radio broadcaster

The uglier a man’s legs are, the better he plays golf.

They look like two lobsters trying to mate.

(1958 – ) Irish professional golfer & commentator

Swing hard in case you hit it.

(1961 – ) American football player

I accept the fact that I'm going to miss it sometimes. I just hope I miss it where I can find it.

American professional golfer

Golf is a good walk spoiled.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist

God said to Faldo, as He once said to Nicklaus, "You will have the skills like no other." Then he whispered to Ballesteros, as he whispered to Palmer, "But they will love you more."

American sportswriter

I’m a golfer – not an athlete.

professional golfer

When the ducks are walking, you know it is too windy to be playing golf.

American professional golfer

Putting allows the touchy golfer two to four opportunities to blow a gasket in the short space of two to forty feet.

(1916 – 2008) American professional golfer

We have fifty-one golf courses in Palm Springs; he (Gerald Ford) never decides which course he will play until after the first tee shot.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor

I can tell you one thing. I've done this my way. I don't have anybody to blame for this win but me, and I love it.

professional golfer

My swing is so bad I look like a caveman killing his lunch.

(1942 – ) American professional golfer

He told me he caddied in the same group with me in the Hot Springs Open. That's why I voted for him, because he was a caddie.

(1916 – 2008) American professional golfer

If profanity had an influence on the flight of the ball, the game would be played far better than it is.

golf author

Golf: A game in which one endeavors to control a ball with implements ill adapted for the purpose

(1856 – 1924) 28th U.S. president & politician

If you call on God to improve the results of a shot while it is still in motion, you are using “an outside agency” and subject to appropriate penalties under the rules of golf.

British golf writer & commentator