Subject: Sports » Golf (Page 4)

I’m a golfer – not an athlete.

professional golfer
Golf Misspokements Sports

If you break 100, watch your golf; if you break 80, watch your business.

(1911 – 1999) comedian, author & columnist
Golf Sports Work

I don’t fear death, but I sure don’t like those three-footers for par.

(1935 – ) Puerto Rican professional golfer
Characteristics Fear Golf Sports

Some players would complain if they had to play on Dolly Parton's bedspread.

(1910 – 1983) professional golfer
Golf Sports

Golf is the only game in which a precise knowledge of the rules can earn one a reputation for bad sportsmanship.

Irish journalist & author
Golf Sports

I was so bad at it, [golf] they would have to check me for ticks at the end of the round because I’d spent about half the day in the woods.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Golf Sports

I used to go to the driving range to practice driving without slicing; now I go to the driving range to practice slicing without swearing.

(1941 – ) poet, author, editor & anthologist
Golf Sports

If you’re caught on a golf course during a storm and are afraid of lightning, hold up a 1-iron; not even God can hit a 1-iron.

(1942 – ) American professional golfer
God Golf Sports

Show me a man with a great golf game, and I’ll show you a man who has been neglecting something.

(1917 – 1963) 35th U.S. president
Golf Sports

A business executive is someone who talks golf in the office and business on the golf course.

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
Golf Sports

Sam Snead was born with a natural ability to keep his bar bills as low as his golf scores.

(1910 – 1983) professional golfer
Alcohol Golf Sports

I don't think he'd even be happy with ice cream right now.

(1958 – ) Irish professional golfer & commentator
Golf Sports

The devoted golfer is an anguished soul who has learned a lot about putting, just as an avalanche victim has learned a lot about snow.

(1929 – ) American author & sportswriter
Golf Sports

I don’t enjoy playing video golf because there’s nothing to throw.

American professional golfer
Entertainment Golf Sports

Playing golf is like going to a strip joint… after 18 holes you’re tired and most of your balls are missing.

(1953 – ) comedian & actor
Golf Sports

The only way of really finding out a man's true character is to play golf with him; in no other walk of life does the cloven hoof so quickly display itself.

(1881 – 1975) English writer & humorist
Characteristics Golf Sports

It's so bad I could putt off a tabletop and still leave the ball halfway down the leg.

professional golfer
Golf Sports

Never bet with anyone you meet on the first tee who has a deep suntan, a 1-iron in his bag, and squinty eyes.

professional golfer
Golf Sports

Only a stupid golfer throws his club behind him; the smart golfer throws his club ahead so he can pick it up on the way to the next hole.

Golf Sports

The only time my prayers are never answered is on the golf course.

(1918 – ) American Christian evangelist
Golf Sports

I know you can be fined for throwing a club, but I want to know if you can get fined for throwing a caddie?

(1916 – 2008) American professional golfer
Golf Sports