Subject: Sports » Hockey

They do a lot of talking, but I'm not sure they actually understand each other.

Canadian hockey player

Getting cut in the face is a pain in the butt.

Canadian hockey player

By the age of 18, the average American has witnessed 200,000 acts of violence on television, most of them occurring during Game 1 of the NHL playoff series

(1966 – ) American journalist & novelist

 I’ve told you guys before, goalies don’t think.

Canadian hockey goaltender

Really, there are none. We traded him for a 10th round pick in a nine-round draft.

professional hockey player

Call them pros, call them mercenaries – but in fact they are just grown-up kids who have learned on the frozen creek or flooded corner lot that hockey is the greatest thrill of all.

Canadian hockey player

The place was cold, and I got the feeling that the fans would have enjoyed baseball more if it had been played with a hockey puck.

professional baseball player

We get nose jobs all the time in the NHL, and we don't even have to go to the hospital. 

Canadian hockey player

All the records were gone. So I figured here's one record I can get.

Canadian hockey player

Playing goal is like being shot at.

professional hockey goalie

Bert's wallet is like an onion. Any time he opens it, he starts crying.

Canadian hockey player

Yes, and I also like jumping out of tall buildings.

American hockey goaltender

He just got me in the right spot. In the small of the back. A good, clean, dirty hit… not that I didn't deserve it.

American hockey player

I'm okay. Russian machine never breaks.

Russian hockey player

I'm just glad it wasn't machete night.

Canadian hockey player

I slept like a baby. Every two hours I woke up and cried.

Canadian hockey coach

Four out of five dentists surveyed recommended playing hockey.

Since my kids were born, I put on a shield. I wanted to keep on seeing them.

Russian hockey player

Every time a puck gets past me and I look back into the net, I say, ‘uh-oh.'

Canadian ice hockey goaltender

We appreciate all the fans that are here, but we really respect the five or six who stayed with us all year.

(1962 – ) American ice hockey goaltender

How would you know, Sean? When I was playing you were in your 3rd year of 8th grade?

Canadian hockey player & commentator