Subject: Sports » Hockey (Page 9)

A goal, an assist and a fight.

American ice hockey player
Hockey Sports

I’m not a cancer, I’m a Gemini.

American ice hockey player
Hockey Sports

He said he wanted to go play in his home country and village; I guess every village needs an idiot.

Hockey Sports

Daneyko got mad when Kaminski said he was going to knock his teeth out. Dano only has two teeth left, so you can't say that to Dano.

Canadian hockey player & coach
Hockey Sports

Trade Steve Yzerman? That's like asking me if I want to trade my son Jason for the kid next door.

Canadian hockey coach & politician
Hockey

I guess it's why you never say never. The only thing you can never do is ski through a revolving door.

hockey coach
Hockey Sports

The only way you can check Gretzky is to hit him when he is standing still singing the national anthem.

Boston Bruins general manager
Hockey Sports

Canada is a country whose main exports are hockey players and cold fronts; our main imports are baseball players and acid rain.

(1919 – 2000) Canadian prime minister & politician
Canada Hockey Places Science/Weather Sports

Bob Kelly was so dumb, they shoulda written his name on the Stanley Cup in crayon.

American sports announcer
Hockey Insults Sports

Reporter to Brett Hull: If you were a tree, what kind of a tree would you be?

Hull: Shoe

Canadian-born American hockey player
Hockey Sports

Actually we’re trying to get it to flood both locker rooms, just to be fair.

Nassau Coliseum general manager
Hockey Sports

Why is a puck called a puck? Because ‘dirty little bastard’ was taken.

Canadian hockey player
Hockey Sports

I'd spend six months behind bars to have him on my team.

Canadian hockey player & broadcaster
Hockey Sports

Goaltenders are three sandwiches shy of a picnic. From the moment primitive man lurched erect, he survived on the principle that when something hard and potentially lethal comes toward you at great velocity, get the hell out of it's path.

Canadian hockey player
Hockey Sports

My wife made me a millionaire. Before she divorced me, I had three million.

professional hockey player
Divorce Hockey Marriage Misspokements Sports

Hockey players wear numbers because you can’t always identify the body with dental records.

Hockey Sports

The only difference between the [Phoenix] Coyotes and Days of Our Lives is that nobody has been shot on our team yet.

professional hockey player
Hockey Sports

The Rangers…

Canadian professional hockey goalie
Hockey Sports

When he put out his arms to celebrate, [after scoring his second goal] the rest of us skated immediately to the bench and left him there all alone.

Canadian hockey player
Hockey Sports

I don't think you ever stopped Bobby Orr. You contained him.  He was too talented and too great a player.  When we played the Bruins and Bobby had to give up the puck it was a good play.

Canadian hockey player
Hockey Sports

When you have bacon and eggs for breakfast, the chicken makes a contribution, the pig makes a commitment.

(1925 – 1990) Canadian hockey player, coach & general manager
Hockey Sports