Subject: Sports (Page 108)

Tell him he’s Wayne Gretzky.

Canadian hockey player
Hockey Sports

Third base is certainly a reactionary position.

(1922 – 2014) American baseball player & announcer
Baseball Misspokements Sports

We went to Alaska once and they made us honorary Alaskans. Then we went to Hawaii and they made us honorary Hawaiians. We're going to the Virgin Islands this year.

(1922 – 2002) American college basketball coach
Basketball Places Sports

Baseball is the belly of society. Straighten out baseball and you'll straighten out the rest of the world.

American baseball pitcher
Baseball Places Sports World

My favorite shots are the practice swing and the conceded putt… the rest can never be mastered.

(1946 – ) British politician
Golf Sports

I'm just what America needs – another unemployed black man.

(1963 – ) American professional basketball player & sports personality
Basketball Sports

Handicap: An allocation of strokes on one or more holes that permits two golfers of very different ability to do equally poorly on the same course.

(1945 – ) American humorist (co-founder of National Lampoon)
Golf Sports

If he wanted me to run 26 miles through the hills, I would. If he wanted me to carry water bottles, I would. If he wanted me to get my hair cut like his… well, you have to draw the line somewhere.

American football player
Football Sports

The Padres, after winning the first game of the doubleheader, are ahead here in the top of the fifth and hoping for a split.

(1924 – 2014) American baseball player & announcer
Baseball Misspokements Sports

One night we play like King Kong, the next night like Fay Wray.

American baseball player & manager
Baseball Sports

In Willie DeWit, we have an all-American boy, even though he is a Canadian.

American boxer
Boxing Sports

You wouldn’t have won if we’d beaten you.

(1925 – 2015) baseball player, coach & manager
Baseball Sports Yogi-isms

I don’t care what the tape says… I didn’t say it.

football coach
Misspokements Sports

I always laugh when people ask me about rebounding techniques; I've got a technique… it's called just go get the damn ball.

(1963 – ) American professional basketball player & sports personality
Basketball Sports

When the ducks are walking, you know it is too windy to be playing golf.

American professional golfer
Golf Science/Weather Sports

I would like to deny all allegations by Bob Hope that during my last game of golf, I hit an eagle, a birdie, an elk and a moose.

(1913 – 2006) 36th U.S. president
Golf Sports

He told me he caddied in the same group with me in the Hot Springs Open. That's why I voted for him, because he was a caddie.

(1916 – 2008) American professional golfer
Golf Sports

Golf is played by twenty million mature American men whose wives think they are out having fun.

(1907 – 1987) American journalist & author
Golf Sports

At least he can’t cheat on his score because all you have to do is look back down the fairway and count the wounded.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Golf People Sports

Golf is more fun than walking naked in a strange place… but not much.

(1924 – 2003) American comedian & actor
Golf Sports

The drivers have one foot on the brake, one on the clutch, and one on the throttle.

auto racing commentator
Auto racing Misspokements Sports