Subject: Sports (Page 116)

Saying that Howard Cosell quit commensating on boxing because it's sleazy is like saying Nixon quit politics because it's crooked.

sportswriter
Boxing Sports

The only reason we’re 7-0 is because we’ve won all seven of our games.

Baseball team manager
Baseball Misspokements Sports

The older you get, the faster you ran as a kid.

professional football player & coach
Age Football Memory Sports

David Boon is now completely clean-shaven, except for his moustache.

Australian cricketer
Misspokements Sports

And there’s the unmistakable figure of Joe Mercer… or is it Lester Piggott.

British horse racing commentator
Misspokements Sports

The fans now, with their eyes pierced on the dart board.

English sports commentator
Misspokements Sports

The music sounds better, the wine tastes sweeter and the girls look better when we win.

professional baseball player
Baseball Sports

Just give him the ball.

American basketball player
Basketball Sports

I don't order fries with my club sandwich.

Canadian hockey player
Body Hockey Sports

So many of [English sporting promoter] Barry Hearn's boxers end up in the hospital; he should sell his limousine and buy an ambulance.

British boxer
Boxing Sports

Jack Del Rio and myself are very similar except he's really good looking and was a great player. Other than that we're very similar.

American football coach
Football Sports

I don’t care what the tape says… I didn’t say it.

football coach
Misspokements Sports

Golf, especially championship golf, isn't supposed to be fun, was never meant to be fair, and never will make any sense.

author
Golf Sports

I had Bernard Taylor five rounds ahead going into their fifth round.

English professional boxer
Boxing Sports

You can make a lot of money in this game; just ask my ex-wives; both of them are so rich that neither of their husbands work.

(1942 – ) American professional golfer
Golf Money Sports Wives

Because if it doesn't work out, I don't want to blow the whole day.

American football player
Football Marriage Sports

Man blames fate for other accidents but feels personally responsible for a hole-in-one.

Golf Situations Sports

I can play anywhere; First, Third, Left field… anywhere but Philadelphia.

(1942 – ) American baseball player
Baseball Places Sports

We may have broken rules … but we did not cheat.

Connecticut basketball coach
Basketball Sports

I told them sandwiches.

(1949 – ) American boxing champion
Boxing Entertainment Food/Drink Sports Television

People say I'll be drafted in the first round, maybe even higher.

American football player
Football Sports