Subject: Sports (Page 21)

The decathlon is nine Mickey Mouse events and the 1500 metres.

English distance runner
Sports

Hell, if KY jelly went off the market, the whole California Angels pitching staff would be out of baseball.

American baseball pitcher
Baseball Sports

I figured out why they took out 8,000 trees at Oakmont. It's so people won't hang themselves.

professional golf caddie
Golf Sports

If you can’t make the putts and can’t get the man in from second on the bottom of the ninth, you’re not going to win enough football games in this league, and that’s the problem we had today.

football coach
Football Misspokements Sports

He just can't believe what isn't happening to him.

(1926 – ) English sports commentator
Colemanballs Misspokements Sports

Defensively the Red Sox are a lot like Stonehenge. They are old, they don't move, and no one is certain why they are positioned the way they are.

American sportswriter
Baseball Sports

I didn't want my Mom to know I was drag racing for 20 years so I told her I was in prison.

American drag racing crew chief & pioneer
Auto racing Sports

I remember sitting down with the Rockets and saying, 'Yeah. I'm going to retire.' They said, 'Well, we'll give you $9 million.' And I said, 'You got a pen on you?'

(1963 – ) American professional basketball player & sports personality
Basketball Money Sports

Never putt until the cup stops moving.

(1941 – ) poet, author, editor & anthologist
Golf Sports

You know, just once I’d like to hear a player say, ‘Yeah, we were in the game – until Jesus made me fumble; he hates our team.’

(1959 – ) American stand-up comedian
Beliefs Sports

These days baseball is different… you come to spring training, you get your legs ready, you arms loose, your agents ready, your lawyer lined up.

American baseball player
Baseball Sports

Frankly, that’s tantamount to the head of the White Star line saying the company’s next voyage will be considered a success if it fares better than the Titanic.

Canadian hockey player
Hockey Sports

I will personally challenge anyone who wants to get rid of fighting to a fight.

American-Canadian hockey executive
Fights Hockey Sports

The more money the free agent signs for, the less effective he is the following season.

Murphy’s Laws Sports

It couldn't have happened to a greater guy… well, yes, it could have happened to me.

Los Angeles Dodgers’ manager
Baseball Sports

I’m a professor in the school of how to break the racket.

Croatian professional tennis player
Sports

For most amateurs, the best wood in the bag… the pencil!

(1935 – ) Puerto Rican professional golfer
Golf Sports

I've been knocked down more than any heavyweight champion in history, but I consider that a compliment, because I must have got up more than any heavyweight champion.

American boxing champion
Boxing Sports

Tyson fights like you stole something from him or said something nasty about his family.

boxing promoter
Boxing Sports

Sparky is the only guy I know who’s written more books than he has read.

baseball broadcaster
Misspokements Reading/Writing Sports

With ten [laps]to go, I didn't have a code of ethics.

American auto racer
Auto racing Sports