Subject: Sports (Page 49)

Jean Alesi is 4th and 5th.

(1923 – ) English motorsport commentator
Auto racing Misspokements Sports

I wish you were a statue and I were a pigeon.

Stephen Gascoigne (1878 – 1942) Australian sports fan & heckler
Sports

Detroit’s so bad this year they might lose their bye week.

(1953 – ) comedian, political commentator and television & radio personality
Football Sports

He has a strike zone the size of Hitler’s heart.

(1919 – 1998) American sportswriter
Baseball Sports

It would be like the elephants standing up on two feet. It would be like the man being shot out of the cannon. It would be like a woman with a beard down to the floor. It would be the greatest show on earth.

(1949 – ) American boxing champion
Boxing Sports

I had slumps that lasted into the winter.

(1935 – ) American baseball player, sportscaster, comedian & actor
Baseball Failure Self Sports

The fewer rules a coach has, the fewer rules there are for players to break.

(1936 – ) American football coach & television announcer
Activities Sports

We worked 80 hour weeks for 30 years to keep from having to get a real job.

American drag racing crew chief & pioneer
Auto racing Sports

Yankees' owner George Steinbrenner is a first-and-ten capitalist in a bunt-and-run world.

American sportswriter
Baseball Communication Sports

My girlfriend boos when we make love because she knows it turns me on.

Puerto Rican boxer
Boxing Sports

Actually, the only time I ever took out a one-iron was to kill a tarantula… and it took a 7 to do that.

(1919 – 1998) American sportswriter
Golf Sports

We had a very scientific system of bringing in relief pitchers. We used the first one who answered the phone.

American baseball pitcher & pitching coach
Baseball Sports

Coach Red Auerbach makes mistakes, the entire Boston Celtics team makes mistakes, but they can get away with it because they have the world's largest eraser in center Bill Russell.

American basketball player
Basketball Sports

I didn’t hear him because my two Stanley Cup rings were plugging my ears.

Canadian ice hockey goaltender
Hockey Sports

Saying that Howard Cosell quit commensating on boxing because it's sleazy is like saying Nixon quit politics because it's crooked.

sportswriter
Boxing Sports

It's been very slow and dull day, but it hasn't been boring. It's been a good, entertaining day's cricket.

Cricket commentator
Sports

He (Gil Hodges) fields better on one leg than anybody else I got on two.

(1890 – 1975) American baseball manager
Baseball Misspokements Sports

There's nothing that cleanses your soul like getting the hell kicked out of you.

college football coach
Football Sports

The luge is the only Olympic event where you could have people competing in it against their will, and it would look exactly the same.

(1954 – ) comedian & television actor
Sports

I told them sandwiches.

(1949 – ) American boxing champion
Boxing Entertainment Food/Drink Sports Television

(Leo) Durocher claims he was sacked forty times (by Larry MacPhail) in his five years as Dodger manager, but I was there and I can verify only twenty-seven.

American baseball executive
Baseball Sports