Subject: Sports (Page 63)

Golf is an exercise in Scottish pointlessness for people who are no longer able to throw telephone poles at each other.

(1936 – ) novelist, essayist & columnist
Sports

There aren't many secrets in coaching…. well, there's one secret: Get a guy like Warrick Dunn, throw him a screen pass and watch him run 52 yards with it.

(1923 – 2001) American football coach
Football Sports

Golf is the cruelest game, because eventually it will drag you out in front of the whole school, take your lunch money and slap you around.

American sportswriter
Golf Sports

Mexicans are always tough with lots of heart; Koreans raw and gritty; the poor British tend to stand up straight and take it on the chops, bleeding almost before the opening bell.

Canadian sportswriter
Boxing People Sports

Pitching always beats batting — and vice-versa.

(1925 – 2015) baseball player, coach & manager
Baseball Sports Yogi-isms

We have a lot of success with a dumb person calling plays. I'm hesitant to have a smart one call them.

(1937 – ) football coach, sportscaster, author & speaker
Football Sports

The secret is to have eight great players and four others who will cheer like crazy.

American basketball coach
Basketball Sports

One reason that Finland produces such great runners is that back home it costs $2.40 for gas.

Finnish marathon runner
Places Sports

Mike Tyson's not all that bad. If you dig deep … dig real deep, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, deep, deep, go all the way to China … I'm sure, you'll find there's a nice guy in there.

(1949 – ) American boxing champion
Boxing Sports

When Lee [Trevino] and Jack [Nicklaus] win, it is good for golf; when I win, it is better.

(1935 – ) Puerto Rican professional golfer
Golf Sports

I had to pinch myself seeing the grassy knoll and the book suppository building.

Canadian hockey player
Hockey Misspokements Sports

He’s not going to adhere himself to the fans.

English football player & manager
Malaprops Sports

Fernando Valenzuela is the pitcher whose name sounds like a mailing address in the Lower Andes.

American sportswriter
Baseball Sports

The 49ers were so badly flattened that they didn't fly back to San Francisco, they were faxed.

American sports columnist
Football Sports

Dance with the one what brung ya.

(1924 – 2012) American football player & coach
Football Sports

On the first day, Logie decided to chance his arm and it came off.

British sports commentator
Misspokements Sports

Being an umpire is like being a king… it prepares you for nothing.

(1937 – 1995) American Major League Baseball umpire
Baseball Sports

Water holes are sacrificial waters where you make a steady gift of your pride and high-priced balls.

(1916 – 2008) American professional golfer
Golf Sports

I don’t think there is anybody bigger or smaller than Maradona.

English football player & manager
Misspokements Sports

If Pete Rose brings the Reds in first, they ought to bronze him and put him in cement.

(1924 – 2014) American baseball player & announcer
Baseball Misspokements Sports

Nelson Piquet looks like a jockey being strapped into his car. Alan Jones looks like a commando on his way to Vietnam.

British auto racer & executive
Auto racing Sports