Subject: Sports (Page 70)

For those of us who are baseball fans and agnostics, the [Baseball] Hall of Fame is as close to a religious experience as we may ever get.

American author
Baseball Sports

He should know better than that. He knows I only drink scotch.

Canadian professional hockey goalie
Body Hockey Sports

The New York Jets have been given permission to sell Girl Scout Cookies.

(1947 – ) comedian & television host
Football

They should call fishing what it really is… tricking and killing!

(1973 – ) American comedian
Activities Animals Language Sports

I don't have anywhere to put my elbows when I putt now.

professional golfer
Golf Sports

I'd trade Larry Murphy for a shaved monkey who could skate and a bucket of pucks.

Hockey Sports

If a man can f**k and drive race cars… man… I mean, what else-is there?

American auto racer
Auto racing Sex Sports

In my prime I could have handled Michael Jordan; of course, he would have been only 12 years old.

American basketball player & coach
Basketball Sports

You feel guilty telling the batters to go out there and get a hit. They look at you funny, as is if to say, 'you try it.‘

(1930 – 2013) American baseball manager
Baseball Sports

But he was the worst dresser in organized baseball; he made Inspector Clouseau look like a candidate for Mr. Blackwell's list of best-dressed men.

American baseball pitcher
Appearance Basketball Clothing Sports

On the first day, Logie decided to chance his arm and it came off.

British sports commentator
Misspokements Sports

He who has the fastest golf cart never has a bad lie.

Golf Sports

In Montana, they renamed a town after an all-time great, Joe Montana. Well, a town in Massachusetts changed their name to honor my guy Terry Bradshaw – Marblehead.

American football player & commentator
Football Sports

Vicodin and vodka — the breakfast of champions.

(1918 – 1990) football coach
Football Sports

It is completely dead out there. I’ve been phoning myself up and disguising my voice just for a bit of interest.

English football player & manager
Sports

The older you get, the faster you ran as a kid.

professional football player & coach
Age Football Memory Sports

The luge is the only Olympic event where you could have people competing in it against their will, and it would look exactly the same.

(1954 – ) comedian & television actor
Sports

Just how childlike golf players become is proven by their frequent inability to count past five.

(1932 – 2009) author, poet & critic
Golf Sports

God said to Faldo, as He once said to Nicklaus, "You will have the skills like no other." Then he whispered to Ballesteros, as he whispered to Palmer, "But they will love you more."

American sportswriter
Golf Sports

He'll have a lot of fun. George will keep him in stitches.

boxing physician
Boxing Sports

The first time I see a jogger smiling, I’ll consider it.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Sports