Subject: Sports (Page 9)

Football doesn’t build character; it eliminates the weak ones.

(1924 – 2012) American football player & coach

Every time I think about changing a diaper, I run a little bit harder and a little bit faster to make sure I can afford a nanny until my daughter's old enough to take care of that herself.

(1963 – ) American professional basketball player & sports personality

The only difference between a good shot and a bad shot is if it goes in or not.

(1963 – ) American professional basketball player & sports personality

Linford Christie’s got a habit of pulling it out when it matters most.

(1926 – ) English sports commentator

Harmon Killebrew has enough power to hit home runs in any park – including Yellowstone.

American professional baseball player, manager & executive

And there’s the unmistakable figure of Joe Mercer… or is it Lester Piggott.

British horse racing commentator

Well, that was a cliff-dweller.

professional baseball manager

My best score ever was 103. But I've only been playing fifteen years.

(1935 – 2012) American football player, sports announcer & actor

He'll have a lot of fun. George will keep him in stitches.

boxing physician

These greens are so fast I have to hold my putter over the ball and hit it with the shadow.

(1912 – 2002) professional golfer

I make no apologies for their absence… I’m sorry they’re not here.

(1923 – ) English motorsport commentator

I don't expect to win enough games to be put on NCAA probation; I just want to win enough to warrant an investigation.

Nebraska football coach

Biologically, I'm 10; chronologically, I'm 33, but in hockey years, I'm 66.


I had a lifetime contract, but the administration declared me dead.

Clemson football coach

Rugby League is war without the frills.

Owww… it caught ‘em right in the pants area.

(1958 – ) Canadian hockey player & announcer

I was hoping I could still be an underwear model after my career is over.

Canadian hockey player

Ninety feet between bases is perhaps as close a man has ever come to perfection.

(1905–1982) American sportswriter

George McGinnis has got the body of a Greek god and the running ability of a Greek goddess.

American sportscaster

The Houston Astros are the youngest team in the National League if you judge by age.

American baseball pitcher & announcer

Eric Show will be oh-for-ten if that pop fly comes down.

(1924 – 2014) American baseball player & announcer