Subject: Tom Swifties (Page 24)

“I don’t work here on a regular basis,” said Tom casually.

Tom Swifties

“You dance just like Fred Astaire,” she said gingerly.

Tom Swifties

“You’re busted!” said the policeman to Miss Parton.

Tom Swifties

“Orgasms are overrated”, said Tom anticlimactically.

Tom Swifties

“I lost my pants in the stock market,” Tom speculated.

Tom Swifties

“For what we are about to receive, may the Lord make us truly thankful,” said Tom gracefully.

Tom Swifties

“Now I can do some painting,” said Tom easily.

Tom Swifties

“Eating uranium makes me feel funny,” said Tom radiantly.

Tom Swifties

“Why shouldn’t I stir my coffee with a ballpoint pen?” Tom bickered.

Tom Swifties

“Goodbye, and thanks for the radio”, said Tom with a short wave.

Tom Swifties

“This boat is leaking,” said Tom balefully.

Tom Swifties

“Boy, that’s an ugly hippopotamus!” said Tom hypocritically.

Tom Swifties

“I have to keep these eggs warm,” Tom said honestly.

Tom Swifties

“I am removing the lining of my gloves,” Tom deferred.

Tom Swifties

“It’s not a candy mint, it’s a breath mint”, Tom asserted.

Tom Swifties

“You have the right to remain silent,” said Tom arrestingly.

Tom Swifties

“That’s already been taken care of,” Tom pretended.

Tom Swifties

“The average frequency of my voice is 160 Hz,” said Tom in measured tones.

Tom Swifties

“Eating uranium can cause strange effects,” said Tom brightly.

Tom Swifties

“3.14159265,” Tom said piously.

Tom Swifties

“You resemble a goat,” said Tom satirically.

Tom Swifties