TV/Movie Quotes | Just-One-Liners.com

Subject: TV/Movie Quotes (Page 56)

You’re a bartender, y’aint a mortrician.

Archie Bunker

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)

A husband’s conjungal and a wife’s convivial obligation.

Archie Bunker

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)

Misspokements TV/Movie Quotes

Relax, all right? Don’t try to strike everybody out. Strikeouts are boring; besides that, they’re fascist. Throw some ground balls. It’s more democratic.

Kevin Costner

(1955 – ) American actor, musician, producer & director

Baseball Sports TV/Movie Quotes As Crash Davis in “Bull Durham”

Women are like elephants to me: nice to look at, but I wouldn’t want to own one.

W.C. Fields

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer

People TV/Movie Quotes Women As Commodore Jackson in “Mississippi”

Folks, I’ve just received a special news bulletin: “You have something on your front tooth.”

Ted Knight

(1923 – 1986) American actor

TV/Movie Quotes As Ted Baxter in “The Mary Tyer Moore Show”

You know what they say, misery is the best company.

Jean Stapleton

(1923 – 2013) American actress

Malaprops TV/Movie Quotes As Edith Bunker in “All In the Family” Misery loves company

Women don’t respect salad eaters.

Jerry Seinfeld

(1954 – ) comedian & television actor

Men People TV/Movie Quotes Women As Jerry in “Seinfeld”

Room service? … send up a larger room.

Groucho Marx

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host

TV/Movie Quotes As Otis B. Driftwood in “A Night at the Opera” Hotels Room service

I never saw a dame yet that didn’t understand a good slap in the mouth or a slug from a .45.

Jerry Lacy

(1936 – ) American stage, film & television actor

TV/Movie Quotes As Bogart character from “Play It Again Sam”

I’d say that the Meathead probably got magnesia and forgot where his mouth was.

Archie Bunker

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)

Malaprops TV/Movie Quotes Amnesia

So… you still desire me after all these years? The old ball and chain?
Gomez: Forever!
Morticia: I’ll get them!

Angelica Huston

(1951 – ) American actress & director

TV/Movie Quotes As Morticia Addams in “Addams Family Values”

Melvin: You make me want to be a better man.
Carol: That’s maybe the best compliment of my life.
Melvin: Well, maybe I overshot a little, because I was aiming at just enough to keep you from walking out.

Jack Nicholson

(1937 – ) American actor

TV/Movie Quotes As Melvin Udall in “As Good as It Gets” Compliments

First reporter: Say, do you know anything about electricity?
S.B. Bellows: My father occupied the chair of applied electricity at State Prison.

W.C. Fields

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer

TV/Movie Quotes As S.B. Bellows in “The Big Broadcast of 1938”

I'll make the money by selling one of my livers… I can get by with one.

Homer Simpson

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)

Misspokements TV/Movie Quotes

The littlest things can set women off – like, “Hey, the waitress is hot! I bet we could get her to come home with us.” Or, “How much does your mom weigh? I want to know what I’m getting into.”

Simon Helberg

(1980 – ) American actor, comedian & musician

People TV/Movie Quotes Women As Howard in “the Big Bang Theory”

Trying is just the first step toward failure.

Homer Simpson

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)

Failure TV/Movie Quotes Trying

Prosecutor: Dr. Stone, would you give the court your impression of Mr. Striker?
Dr. Stone: I’m sorry, I don’t do impressions… my training is in psychiatry.

John Vernon

(1932 – 2005) Canadian actor

TV/Movie Quotes As Dr. Stone in “Airplane II: The Sequel”

You’re a disgrace to depression.

Jack Nicholson

(1937 – ) American actor

TV/Movie Quotes As Melvin Udall in “As Good as It Gets” Depression

Our Air Corps reunion was held to rememmorate the great things we done.

Archie Bunker

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)

Malaprops TV/Movie Quotes Commemorate

A man does what he has to do… if he can’t get out of it.

James Garner

(1928 – 2014) American actor

TV/Movie Quotes As Bret Maverick in “Maverick”

Cliff: The Hindus believe that what you come back as depends upon your behavior in your this life. If you led a good life, you come back in an elevated state.
Coach: Like Colorado?

Nicholas Colasanto

(1924 – 1985) American actor & television director

TV/Movie Quotes As Ernie ‘Coach’ Pantusso in “Cheers”

Quotes and One Liners

humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more

Categories

Additional Categories

Oops...

Some Popular Authors

Subject: TV/Movie Quotes (Page 56)

You’re a bartender, y’aint a mortrician.

A husband’s conjungal and a wife’s convivial obligation.

Relax, all right? Don’t try to strike everybody out. Strikeouts are boring; besides that, they’re fascist. Throw some ground balls. It’s more democratic.

Women are like elephants to me: nice to look at, but I wouldn’t want to own one.

Folks, I’ve just received a special news bulletin: “You have something on your front tooth.”

You know what they say, misery is the best company.

Women don’t respect salad eaters.

Room service? … send up a larger room.

I never saw a dame yet that didn’t understand a good slap in the mouth or a slug from a .45.

I’d say that the Meathead probably got magnesia and forgot where his mouth was.

So… you still desire me after all these years? The old ball and chain?
Gomez: Forever!
Morticia: I’ll get them!

Melvin: You make me want to be a better man.
Carol: That’s maybe the best compliment of my life.
Melvin: Well, maybe I overshot a little, because I was aiming at just enough to keep you from walking out.

First reporter: Say, do you know anything about electricity?
S.B. Bellows: My father occupied the chair of applied electricity at State Prison.

I'll make the money by selling one of my livers… I can get by with one.

The littlest things can set women off – like, “Hey, the waitress is hot! I bet we could get her to come home with us.” Or, “How much does your mom weigh? I want to know what I’m getting into.”

Trying is just the first step toward failure.

Prosecutor: Dr. Stone, would you give the court your impression of Mr. Striker?
Dr. Stone: I’m sorry, I don’t do impressions… my training is in psychiatry.

You’re a disgrace to depression.

Our Air Corps reunion was held to rememmorate the great things we done.

A man does what he has to do… if he can’t get out of it.

Cliff: The Hindus believe that what you come back as depends upon your behavior in your this life. If you led a good life, you come back in an elevated state.
Coach: Like Colorado?