Author: Anonymous Page 122

Wife: A former sweetheart.

Definitions Marriage

Marriage: The difference between painting the town and painting the back porch.

Definitions Marriage

“This way to the seabird exhibit”, said Tom awkwardly.

Tom Swifties

Don't put all your chickens in one basket.

Mixed metaphors

He is confused as a baby raccoon!

Expressions

Give a man a match, and he'll be warm for a minute, but set him on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.

Situations

Choir: A group of people whose singing allows the rest of the Congregation to lip-sync.

Definitions

“Life isn’t fair,” said Tom darkly.

Tom Swifties

The police surrounded the building and threw an accordion around the block.

Malaprops Situations

A waist is a terrible thing to mind.

Mixed metaphors

Blurt: To speak the truth.

Definitions Speech

Bowling Alley: A quiet place of amusement where you can hear a pin drop.

Activities Definitions

“I’ve mailed the letter,” Tom assented.

Tom Swifties

They live in a two-storage house.

Malaprops

Charm: The ability to make someone think that both of you are wonderful.

Characteristics Definitions

This thing is snowballing like a house afire!

Mixed metaphors

“That horse looks like a good bet at 20 to 1,” said Tom oddly.

Tom Swifties

Good Neighbor: A fellow who smiles at you over the back fence, but doesn’t climb it.

Definitions

Experience: What you get from being inexperienced.

Definitions

Insurance: A form of gambling in which we bet our chance of escaping disaster, and win only when we lose.

Definitions

“Unlike you, I’ve always been a dog person,” he barked.

Tom Swifties