Author: Anonymous Page 122

Vacation: Where you take the family to get away from it all, only to find it there, too.

Definitions

Take the ball by the horns and run with it.

Mixed metaphors

Husband: A polygamous animal in a monogamous strait-jacket.

Definitions Marriage

Telephone: A contrivance for letting us talk to people whom we don’t want to meet.

Definitions Things

Beyond the question of a doubt

Mixed metaphors

Don't stand behind a coughing cow.

Miscellaneous Proverbs

Umpire: The original strike arbitrator.

Definitions Wordplay

Artist’s Model: A girl unsuited for her work.

Definitions

Sympathy: What one woman offers another in exchange for details.

Definitions

Colleague: The person to whom one passes the buck.

Definitions

I.T.: Customer Support without the common sense.

Definitions

That politician is so crooked he can hide behind a corkscrew.

Characteristics Expressions Honesty

“You don’t see the point, do you?” asked Tom, stabbing in the dark.

Tom Swifties

Fishing: A jerk at one end of the line waiting for a jerk at the other end.

Activities Definitions

Nervous as a hound pissing peach pits

Emotions Expressions

When you boil it down to its nuts and bolts

Mixed metaphors

Well tie me to an anthill and fill my ears with jam!

Expressions

Jeans: Lower half of the international uniform of youth.

Appearance Clothing Definitions

Can a one-legged duck swim in a circle?

Expressions

Cute as a duck in a hat.

Expressions

Status Quo: Latin for “the mess we’re in.”

Definitions Problems