Author: Anonymous Page 130

“I’m wearing my wedding ring”, said Tom with abandon.

Tom Swifties

Get a new car for your spouse; it’ll be a great trade!

Autos Marriage Things

“I’m on social security,” said Tom dolefully.

Tom Swifties

A day without sunshine is like… well, night.

Situations Time

Limit: Maximum number of a particular fish that an angler can take in a day. This number varies from place to place and species to species, but it is a largely theoretical restriction with little practical application.

Activities Definitions

An allowance is what you pay your children to live with you.

Children Definitions Family

That's the pot calling the kettle's bluff.

Mixed metaphors

Fore: A golf bawl.

Definitions Golf Sports

“Where shall I plant these water lilies?” Tom pondered.

Tom Swifties

Having one wife is called monotony.

Malaprops Marriage

“I’m losing my hair,” Tom bawled.

Tom Swifties

Egotist: Someone who is usually me-deep in conversation.

Definitions

Tolerance: Another word for indifference.

Characteristics Definitions

Father’s Day: The annual day in June set aside so merchants can get rid of their leftover Christmas ties and shaving lotion.

Definitions Time

“Sorry about that butt call,” he said cheekily.

Tom Swifties

Many nations adopt a tit for tit policy.

Malaprops

I guess I threw a cog in the wrench.

Mixed metaphors

Great Timesaver: Love at first sight.

Definitions

Mason-Dixon Line: A geographical division between “you all” and “youse guys.”

Definitions Places

“This is mutiny!” said Tom bountifully.

Tom Swifties

Easy Payments: The ones that are easier said than done.

Definitions