Author: Country expression Page 41

If she gets to heaven she'll ask to see the upstairs.

I went to the barber and got my ears lowered.

To put the spit on the apple.

If you can't hang with the big dawgs, get off the porch!

Like a sow needs a sidesaddle

I hope she lives to a 150 and looks it.

That's like putting a side saddle on a boar hog!

She is so smart, even her teachers play chess with her.

Drunk as Cooter Brown

You plant a tater, you get a tater.

Shaking like a dog shitting peach seeds.

Lower than a snake’s belly

He couldn’t carry a tune in a bucket.

In your life, you’ve got to eat a peck of dirt.

Breast baby

I could stand flat footed and piss over a dump truck.

Pot licker

He’s dumber than owl shit.

Pissin’ in the wind

Ready with his hat and slow with his money

Don’t insult the alligator till you’ve crossed the stream.