Author: Charles Barkley

Stevie Wonder could make one of 23 shots.

(1963 – ) American professional basketball player & sports personality

Cleveland is trying to win the championship and Detroit has one foot in Cancun.

(1963 – ) American professional basketball player & sports personality

Every time I think about changing a diaper, I run a little bit harder and a little bit faster to make sure I can afford a nanny until my daughter's old enough to take care of that herself.

(1963 – ) American professional basketball player & sports personality

If you go out with a girl and they say she has a great personality, she's ugly; if they tell you a guy works hard, he can't play a lick… same thing.

(1963 – ) American professional basketball player & sports personality

I remember sitting down with the Rockets and saying, 'Yeah. I'm going to retire.' They said, 'Well, we'll give you $9 million.' And I said, 'You got a pen on you?'

(1963 – ) American professional basketball player & sports personality

You can't even jump high enough to touch the rim, unless they put a Big Mac on it.

(1963 – ) American professional basketball player & sports personality

If you go out with a girl and they say she has a great personality, she's ugly; if they tell you a guy works hard, he can't play a lick… same thing.

(1963 – ) American professional basketball player & sports personality

I'm just what America needs – another unemployed black man.

(1963 – ) American professional basketball player & sports personality

The only difference between a good shot and a bad shot is if it goes in or not.

(1963 – ) American professional basketball player & sports personality

These are my new shoes. They’re good shoes. They won’t make you rich like me, they won’t make you rebound like me, they definitely won’t make you handsome like me. They’ll only make you have shoes like me. That’s it.

(1963 – ) American professional basketball player & sports personality

I think that the team that wins game five will win the series… unless we lose game five.

(1963 – ) American professional basketball player & sports personality

Dennis has become like a prostitute, but now it's gotten ridiculous, to the point where he will do anything humanly possible to make money.

(1963 – ) American professional basketball player & sports personality

Interviewer: Did you graduate from Auburn?
Charles: No, but I have a couple people working for me who did.

(1963 – ) American professional basketball player & sports personality

We don’t need refs, but I guess white guys need something to do.

(1963 – ) American professional basketball player & sports personality

I miss America. I miss crime and murder. I miss Philadelphia. There hasn't been a brutal stabbing or anything here the last 24 hours. I've missed it.

(1963 – ) American professional basketball player & sports personality

I always laugh when people ask me about rebounding techniques; I've got a technique… it's called just go get the damn ball.

(1963 – ) American professional basketball player & sports personality

Beasley was 6’10” in college and 6’7” when he entered the NBA.

(1963 – ) American professional basketball player & sports personality

If I weren’t earning $3 million a year to dunk a basketball, most people in the street would run in the other direction if they saw me coming.

(1963 – ) American professional basketball player & sports personality

Yeah, I regret we weren't on a higher floor.

(1963 – ) American professional basketball player & sports personality

I think that the team that wins game five will win the series… unless we lose game five.

(1963 – ) American professional basketball player & sports personality

I heard Tonya Harding is calling herself the Charles Barkley of figure skating; I was going to sue her for defamation of character, but then I realized I have no character.

(1963 – ) American professional basketball player & sports personality