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Author: George Gobel Page 2
Peter Marshall: George, does Elizabeth Taylor smoke?George Gobel: She has one cigarette after every meal, which amounts to… two packs a day.
George Gobel
(1919 – 1991) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares
Peter Marshall: When are you considered an old man in Japan?George Gobel: When you have to get your doctor’s permission to bow.
George Gobel
(1919 – 1991) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares
Peter Marshall: According to the celebrated Masters & Johnson, there are about four or five thousand places offering sex therapy in America today. Now do they feel that most of them are doing a really good job?George Gobel: Well, not the ones where you don't have to leave your car.
George Gobel
(1919 – 1991) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares
Peter Marshall: According to
The Cosmo Girl’s Book Of Ettiquette
, what does Helen Gurley Brown say you should put in your bra to attract men?George Gobel: A copy of
Sports Illustrated.
George Gobel
(1919 – 1991) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares
College is a place to keep warm between high school and an early marriage.
George Gobel
(1919 – 1991) American comedian & actor
Education
Marriage
School
College
Peter Marshall: According to an old song, you should “Wrap all your troubles in…” What? George Gobel: Furs… and tell her to stop calling your house!
George Gobel
(1919 – 1991) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares
Where I play, the greens always break toward the bar.
George Gobel
(1919 – 1991) American comedian & actor
Golf
Sports
Golf courses
Peter Marshall: Back in the old days, when Great Grandpa put horseradish on his head, what was he trying to do?George Gobel: Get it in his mouth.
George Gobel
(1919 – 1991) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares
Peter Marshall: True or false… a man arrested in West Palm Beach, Florida was fined 75 cents after a policeman shot him with two bullets.George Gobel: The guy only had a dollar, so the policeman shot him two more times.
George Gobel
(1919 – 1991) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares
Peter Marshall: True or false… the Pope believes the Vatican might be bugged?George Gobel: And he also believes that 18 minutes of the new testament are missing.
George Gobel
(1919 – 1991) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares
Peter Marshall: According to weather statistics, where is the wettest spot on Earth?George Gobel: The parking lot at Busch Gardens.
George Gobel
(1919 – 1991) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares
Peter Marshall: According to the Reverend Billy Graham, what sin have you committed if you drink too much? George Gobel: Gluttony. The neighbors say I ate their cat.
George Gobel
(1919 – 1991) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares
Peter Marshall: You have some lipstick on your collar. Will treating it with petroleum jelly help?George Gobel: I'm gonna have a hard enough time explaining the lipstick!
George Gobel
(1919 – 1991) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares
Peter Marshall: True or false… there is a magazine called
The Corsets & Underwear Revue?
George Gobel: I was reading that before
Playboy
came out.
George Gobel
(1919 – 1991) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares
Peter Marshall: According to Dear Abby, it’s nature’s signal that something is wrong. What is it?George Gobel: When your son starts waxing his legs.
George Gobel
(1919 – 1991) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares
Peter Marshall: Dear Abby says it's the single reason most people go to an X-rated movie. What is it?George Gobel: Well, in the first place, they can't believe their eyes the first 20 or 30 times.
George Gobel
(1919 – 1991) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares
Peter Marshall: According to legend, what one thing was Noah’s wife not willing to do?George Gobel: Sunbathe amongst the anteaters.
George Gobel
(1919 – 1991) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares
Peter Marshall: True or false… George, experts say there are only seven or eight things in the world dumber than an ant.George Gobel: Yes, and I think I voted for six of ‘em.
George Gobel
(1919 – 1991) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares
Peter Marshall: According to an article in the
Dayton Daily News,
it’s the most universal reaction in men after they’ve gotten their divorce. What is it?George Gobel: Relief.
George Gobel
(1919 – 1991) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares
Peter Marshall: True or false… drinking alcohol reduces the amount of male hormones in your body? George Gobel: You can’t scare me!
George Gobel
(1919 – 1991) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares
Peter Marshall: While visiting China, your tour guide starts shouting “Poo! Poo! Poo!” What does that mean? George Gobel: Cattle crossing.
George Gobel
(1919 – 1991) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares
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