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Author: George Gobel Page 3
Peter Marshall: True or false… there is a Catholic parish in Las Vegas that holds services in a topless discotheque?George Gobel: Yes, and there's a sign that says "Do not tip or touch the choir."
George Gobel
(1919 – 1991) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares
Peter Marshall: According to an article in the
Dayton Daily News,
it’s the most universal reaction in men after they’ve gotten their divorce. What is it?George Gobel: Relief.
George Gobel
(1919 – 1991) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares
Peter Marshall: According to
The People’s Handbook Of Medical Care
, it’s the single-most important factor in letting you know that something is wrong with you. What is it?George Gobel: It’s when people pass you on the street, and go “YECCH!”
George Gobel
(1919 – 1991) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares
Peter Marshall: If you find someone lying unconscious in the street, should you do anything? George Goebel: I’d probably crawl around him I guess.
George Gobel
(1919 – 1991) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares
Peter Marshall: True or false… drinking alcohol reduces the amount of male hormones in your body? George Gobel: You can’t scare me!
George Gobel
(1919 – 1991) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares
Peter Marshall:
The Pittsburgh Press
calls it a combination of the Jitterbug, the Cha-cha, and the Mambo. What do you call it?George Gobel: A short in my electric blanket.
George Gobel
(1919 – 1991) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares
I've never been drunk, but often I've been overserved.
George Gobel
(1919 – 1991) American comedian & actor
Alcohol
Food/Drink
Peter Marshall: According to Shakespeare, what acquaints a man with strange bedfellows?George Gobel: The tall dude in the purple hat.
George Gobel
(1919 – 1991) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares
Peter Marshall: True or false… the Pope believes the Vatican might be bugged?George Gobel: And he also believes that 18 minutes of the new testament are missing.
George Gobel
(1919 – 1991) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares
Peter Marshall: Does the Secret Service have any women? George Gobel: Of course, who do you think performs the secret service?
George Gobel
(1919 – 1991) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares
My uncle was the town drunk… and we lived in Chicago.
George Gobel
(1919 – 1991) American comedian & actor
Alcohol
Food/Drink
Drunk
Peter Marshall: George, does Elizabeth Taylor smoke?George Gobel: She has one cigarette after every meal, which amounts to… two packs a day.
George Gobel
(1919 – 1991) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares
Peter Marshall: Do most American families have at least one pet?George Gobel: Yes, and it usually happens during the Johnny Carson show.
George Gobel
(1919 – 1991) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares
Peter Marshall: What did Anita Bryant do for her talent competition in the Miss America contest? George Gobel: Punch the hairdresser.
George Gobel
(1919 – 1991) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares
Peter Marshall: One Frenchman in seven makes his living making something. Making what?George Gobel: Making love to the lady tourists.
George Gobel
(1919 – 1991) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares
Peter Marshall: True or false… pickles and martinis don’t taste as good to people with dentures? George Gobel: Well, you can get along without dentures.
George Gobel
(1919 – 1991) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares
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