Author: Helen Rowland

A wise woman puts a grain of sugar into everything she says to a man, and takes a grain of salt with everything he says to her.

(1876 – 1950) journalist & humorist
Men People Women

It isn't tying himself to one woman that a man dreads when he thinks of marrying; it's separating himself from all the others.

(1876 – 1950) journalist & humorist
Marriage People Women

To a woman the first kiss is just the end of the beginning but to a man it is the beginning of the end.

(1876 – 1950) journalist & humorist
People Relationships Time Women

There is a vast difference between the savage and the civilized man, but it is never apparent to their wives until after breakfast.

(1876 – 1950) journalist & humorist
Eating Food/Drink Husbands Marriage Wives

The follies which a man regrets most, in his life, are those which he didn't commit when he had the opportunity.

(1876 – 1950) journalist & humorist
Individuals People

Love, the quest; marriage, the conquest; divorce, the inquest.

(1876 – 1950) journalist & humorist
Divorce Emotions Love Marriage

Love: Woman’s eternal spring and man’s eternal fall.

(1876 – 1950) journalist & humorist
Emotions Love Wordplay

A bride at her second marriage does not wear a veil; she wants to see what she is getting.

(1876 – 1950) journalist & humorist
Marriage

Marriage is a bargain, and somebody has to get the worst of the bargain.

(1876 – 1950) journalist & humorist
Marriage

Why does a man take it for granted that a girl who flirts with him wants him to kiss her, when, nine times out of ten, she only wants him to want to kiss her.

(1876 – 1950) journalist & humorist
Men People Women

The tenderest spot in a man's make-up is sometimes the bald spot on top of his head.

(1876 – 1950) journalist & humorist
Characteristics Men People

Before marriage, a man will go home and lie awake all night thinking about something you said; after marriage, he'll go to sleep before you finish saying it.

(1876 – 1950) journalist & humorist
Husbands Marriage Sleep

One man's folly is another man's wife.

(1876 – 1950) journalist & humorist
Men People Wives

Marriage is the operation by which a woman's vanity and a man's egotism are extracted without an anesthetic.

(1876 – 1950) journalist & humorist
Characteristics Husbands Marriage Wives

To be happy with a woman you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.

(1876 – 1950) journalist & humorist
Emotions Happiness Love People Women

It takes a woman twenty years to make a man of her son, and another woman twenty minutes to make a fool of him.

(1876 – 1950) journalist & humorist
Family Mothers People Relationships Time Women

France may claim the happiest marriages in the world, but the happiest divorces in the world are made in America.

(1876 – 1950) journalist & humorist
Divorce Marriage Places

In olden times, sacrifices were made at the altar… a practice that still continues.

(1876 – 1950) journalist & humorist
Marriage

Every man wants a woman to appeal to his better side, his nobler instincts, and his higher nature; and another woman to help him forget them.

(1876 – 1950) journalist & humorist
Intelligence Memory Men People Women

Never trust a husband too far or a bachelor too near.

(1876 – 1950) journalist & humorist
Characteristics Husbands Marriage People

Falling in love consists merely in uncorking the imagination and bottling the common sense.

(1876 – 1950) journalist & humorist
Emotions Intelligence Love