Author: Noel Coward Page 2

She had much in common with Hitler, only no mustache.

(1899 – 1973) English playwright, actor, composer, director & songwriter
Insults

Never mind, dear, we're all made the same, though some more than others.

(1899 – 1973) English playwright, actor, composer, director & songwriter
People

I can't sing, but I know how to, which is quite different.

(1899 – 1973) English playwright, actor, composer, director & songwriter
Entertainment Self

“A WARM HAND ON YOUR OPENING.”

(1899 – 1973) English playwright, actor, composer, director & songwriter
Communication Wordplay

For God's sake, go and tell that young man to take that Rockingham tea service out of his tights.

(1899 – 1973) English playwright, actor, composer, director & songwriter
Entertainment Insults

Television opened up a whole new field of unemployment for him.

(1899 – 1973) English playwright, actor, composer, director & songwriter
Acting Entertainment Insults Television

People are wrong when they say opera is not what it used to be… it is what it used to be; that is what's wrong with it.

(1899 – 1973) English playwright, actor, composer, director & songwriter
Entertainment Music Reviews/Criticism

Do I believe in God? … Let’s say we have a working relationship.

(1899 – 1973) English playwright, actor, composer, director & songwriter
Beliefs God

There's always something fishy about the French.

(1899 – 1973) English playwright, actor, composer, director & songwriter
Insults People Places

Literary diarrhea.

(1899 – 1973) English playwright, actor, composer, director & songwriter
Insults Reviews/Criticism

I've sometimes thought of marrying – and then I've thought again.

(1899 – 1973) English playwright, actor, composer, director & songwriter
Marriage

I have a memory like an elephant; in fact, elephants often consult me.

(1899 – 1973) English playwright, actor, composer, director & songwriter
Animals Intelligence Memory

Two things should be cut – the second act and the child's throat.

(1899 – 1973) English playwright, actor, composer, director & songwriter
Reviews/Criticism

Television is for appearing on – not for looking at.

(1899 – 1973) English playwright, actor, composer, director & songwriter
Entertainment Television

Wit ought to be a glorious treat like caviar; never spread it about like marmalade.

(1899 – 1973) English playwright, actor, composer, director & songwriter
Entertainment Intelligence

He must have been an incredibly good shot.

(1899 – 1973) English playwright, actor, composer, director & songwriter
Insults Intelligence

Criticism and Bolshevism have one thing in common: they both seek to pull down that which they could never build.

(1899 – 1973) English playwright, actor, composer, director & songwriter
Beliefs Insults

Squash – that’s not exercise, it’s flagellation.

(1899 – 1973) English playwright, actor, composer, director & songwriter
Sports

The audience would have booed and hissed after the first act, but you can't do that and yawn at the same time.

(1899 – 1973) English playwright, actor, composer, director & songwriter
Reviews/Criticism

She took her curtain calls as though she has just been un-nailed from the cross.

(1899 – 1973) English playwright, actor, composer, director & songwriter
Reviews/Criticism

I don't believe in astrology; the only stars I can blame for my failures are those that walk about the stage.

(1899 – 1973) English playwright, actor, composer, director & songwriter
Failure