Author: Noel Coward Page 2

I’d wring your neck… if you had one.

(1899 – 1973) English playwright, actor, composer, director & songwriter
Appearance Body Insults

I have a memory like an elephant; in fact, elephants often consult me.

(1899 – 1973) English playwright, actor, composer, director & songwriter
Animals Intelligence Memory

Never mind, dear, we're all made the same, though some more than others.

(1899 – 1973) English playwright, actor, composer, director & songwriter
People

Speak clearly, don't bump into the furniture.

(1899 – 1973) English playwright, actor, composer, director & songwriter
Acting Entertainment

There's always something fishy about the French.

(1899 – 1973) English playwright, actor, composer, director & songwriter
Insults People Places

I see her as one great stampede of lips directed at the nearest derriere.

(1899 – 1973) English playwright, actor, composer, director & songwriter
Appearance Insults

Having to read a footnote resembles having to go downstairs to answer the door while in the midst of making love.

(1899 – 1973) English playwright, actor, composer, director & songwriter
Books Communication Reading/Writing Sex

I don't believe in astrology; the only stars I can blame for my failures are those that walk about the stage.

(1899 – 1973) English playwright, actor, composer, director & songwriter
Failure

Like watching an affair between a mad rocking-horse and a rawhide suitcase.

(1899 – 1973) English playwright, actor, composer, director & songwriter
Reviews/Criticism

He has his head in the clouds and his feet in the box office.

(1899 – 1973) English playwright, actor, composer, director & songwriter
Communication Insults Reviews/Criticism

People are wrong when they say opera is not what it used to be… it is what it used to be; that is what's wrong with it.

(1899 – 1973) English playwright, actor, composer, director & songwriter
Entertainment Music Reviews/Criticism

Two things should be cut – the second act and the child's throat.

(1899 – 1973) English playwright, actor, composer, director & songwriter
Reviews/Criticism

He must have been an incredibly good shot.

(1899 – 1973) English playwright, actor, composer, director & songwriter
Insults Intelligence

Wit ought to be a glorious treat like caviar; never spread it about like marmalade.

(1899 – 1973) English playwright, actor, composer, director & songwriter
Entertainment Intelligence

She had much in common with Hitler, only no mustache.

(1899 – 1973) English playwright, actor, composer, director & songwriter
Insults

She stopped the show – but then the show wasn't traveling very fast.

(1899 – 1973) English playwright, actor, composer, director & songwriter
Acting Communication Entertainment Reviews/Criticism

Keir Dullea, gone tomorrow.

(1899 – 1973) English playwright, actor, composer, director & songwriter
Acting Entertainment Reviews/Criticism Wordplay

Television is for appearing on – not for looking at.

(1899 – 1973) English playwright, actor, composer, director & songwriter
Entertainment Television

Dear Randolph, utterly unspoilt by failure.

(1899 – 1973) English playwright, actor, composer, director & songwriter
Failure Insults

Edward Woodward… Edward Woodward… sounds like a fart in the bath.

(1899 – 1973) English playwright, actor, composer, director & songwriter
Entertainment Insults

Literary diarrhea.

(1899 – 1973) English playwright, actor, composer, director & songwriter
Insults Reviews/Criticism