Author: Paul Lynde Page 4

Peter Marshall: According to the old song, what’s breaking up that old gang of mine?

Paul Lynde: Anita Byant!

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: During the 18th century it was common for a bride to sell something at her wedding reception to help pay for the cost of the wedding. What did she sell?

Paul Lynde: Her first born.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: You’ve gone from egg, to larvae, to pupae. What’s next?

Paul Lynde: A shave and a shower and off to work!

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Can we get heat from stars?

Paul Lynde: You will if I have to share my dressing room again!

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: In television, who lived in Doodyville?

Paul Lynde: The Ty-De-Bowl Man.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: A soap opera in Australia called “Number 96” offers audiences something that no American soap opera has. What?

Paul Lynde: An unfaithful kangaroo.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Paul, can you get an elephant drunk?

Paul Lynde: Yes, but he still won’t go up to your your apartment.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Liberace has a new book out called The Things I…?

Paul Lynde: Put in my hair.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Miscellaneous

Peter Marshall: A recent navy picture had Admiral Zumwalt kissing Admiral Duirk. Why?

Paul Lynde: Too long at sea!

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Modern science can’t really explain why, but if you go outside at night, stand on your head, and stare at the full moon, you will notice something unusual. What?

Paul Lynde: Yes, in eight seconds, rain will fill up your nose.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Paul, Broderick Crawford says that he is often mistaken for….

Paul Lynde: A dump truck.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: True or false… according to the White House chefs, if the President had his way, daily lunch would consist of nothing more than a sandwich and a beer.

Paul Lynde: Even in public school?

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: A photograph of Queen Elizabeth had her stepping onto the shores of Bangkok, onto a carpet made of what?

Paul Lynde: 40% Dacron.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: If the right part comes along, will George C. Scott do a nude scene?

Paul Lynde: You mean he doesn’t have the right part?

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: True or false… research indicates that Columbus liked to wear bloomers and long stockings.

Paul Lynde: It’s not easy to sign a crew up for six months…

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: True or false… in Sweden, a person can get an instant divorce?

Paul Lynde: Yes, from poisoned meatballs.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Paul, True or false… the University of Nebraska was recently given $185,000 for an extensive study of the prune.

Paul Lynde: There goes $185,000 down the drain!

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Henry Kissinger was recently quoted as saying, “They aren’t even sexy!” Who was he referring to?

Paul Lynde: The Joint Chiefs of Staff.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: True or false… in the recent world kissing contest in England, two contestants were disqualified when they got too passionate?

Paul Lynde: But they went on to win in three other categories.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Bing Crosby and Fred Astaire recently announced that after 30 years, they’re going to do something together one more time. What?

Paul Lynde: Trade hairpieces.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Whose motto is “Do Your Best?”

Paul Lynde: I guess we can rule out Jimmy Carter…

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares