Author: Paul Lynde Page 8

Peter Marshall: Paul, what is the primary problem that develops with men’s zippers?

Paul Lynde: Rust.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: True or false… Paul Revere had 16 children?

Paul Lynde: From ONE midnight ride?!

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Liberace has a new book out called The Things I…?

Paul Lynde: Put in my hair.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Miscellaneous

Peter Marshall: On radio, Margo Lane knew something about young, handsome, wealthy Lamont Cranston. In fact, she knew about Lamont Cranston, things that no one else knew. What was it?

Paul Lynde: That his bellybutton was an outsie.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: According to the old song, what’s breaking up that old gang of mine?

Paul Lynde: Anita Byant!

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: What should you think when you walk into an apartment and all the walls and carpets are brown?

Paul Lynde: The maid exploded.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: You're on a yacht, and you're seasick.  According to Emily Post, should you tell your host?

Paul Lynde: No, let him find out for himself.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Fred Astaire says, his mother has been trying to get him to do this since he was 35. But he hasn’t done it and says he won’t do it until he’s ready. Do what?

Paul Lynde: Move out of the house!

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: A soap opera in Australia called “Number 96” offers audiences something that no American soap opera has. What?

Paul Lynde: An unfaithful kangaroo.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Paul,Zsa Zsa Gabor says she never ever swims with her face in the water. Why?

Paul Lynde: It clogs the drain.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Who never rises for the bride and groom?

Paul Lynde: Ironside.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Now listen carefully, Paul. If you have one it’s a moose. If you have two, it’s a….?

Paul Lynde: It’s a mess!

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Which performing team were the stars of Ed Sullivan’s first TV show?

Paul Lynde: Aretha and Benjamin Franklin.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Bing Crosby and Fred Astaire recently announced that after 30 years, they’re going to do something together one more time. What?

Paul Lynde: Trade hairpieces.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Paul, what landed “I know not where?”

Paul Lynde: Amelia Earhart.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: According to Tony Randall, “Every woman I’ve been intimate with in my life has been…” What?

Paul Lynde: Bitterly disappointed.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: In the United States, what do we call the number one followed by 12 zeros?

Paul Lynde: Dean Martin And The Golddiggers.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Paul, can anything bring tears to a chimp's eyes?

>Paul Lynde: Finding out that Tarzan swings both ways!

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Diamonds should not be kept with your family jewels, why?

Paul Lynde: They’re so cold!

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: In a survey of teenage mothers, most of them said they were listening to this when they got pregnant. What is it?

Paul Lynde: A pack of lies.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares

Peter Marshall: Is using an electric vibrating machine a good way to lose weight?

Paul Lynde: That’s what I told the saleslady, but she just winked.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
Hollywood Squares